Jul 28, 2010

Noted Climatologist Pat Sajak Pens Solution to Global Warming

Well, we have been waiting and waiting and waiting for Pat Sajak to weigh in on the global warming denier situation. I'd say "debate" but only complete retards who read studies provided by companies like BP don't believe in global warming at this point.

And, as it turns out, Pat is one of those complete retards.

Manmade global warming, like so many other social and economic issues, has become hopelessly politicized.

Um. No. You can't politicize a reality. It's like saying gravity is hopelessly politicized.

Now, if those True Believers would give up their cars and big homes and truly change the way they live, I can’t imagine that there wouldn’t be some measurable impact on the Earth in just a few short years. I’m not talking about recycling Evian bottles, but truly simplifying their lives. Even if you were, say, a former Vice President, you would give up extra homes and jets and limos. I see communes with organic farms and lives freed from polluting technology.

SNAP! Oh, man, Sajak really brought the hammer down. What a fool-proof idea. Can't see any holes.

Then, when the rest of us saw the results of their actions—you know, the earth cooling, oceans lowering, polar bears frolicking and glaciers growing—we would see the error of our ways and join the crusade voluntarily and enthusiastically.

Hey, look at you! Casually making fun of the eventual extinction of polar bears. Tee hee.

And I hate to be a scold, but you have a special obligation to do it because you believe it so strongly. Then, instead of looking at isolated tree rings and computer models, you’d have real results to point to, and even the skeptics would see the error of their ways and join you.

Oh, I think you're confusing "be a scold" with "be a douchebag." Easy to do when making light of environmental devastation.

Oh, and you're a game show host.


libhom said...

Sajak is doing a great job of sucking up to his corporate masters.

Anonymous said...

I don't get these diehards. Do they just really hate recycling or something? What does it matter to Pat Sajak what Al Gore is doing?