Laura Bush Is Boring In Print, Too

Apparently, publishers love memoirs from First Ladies. They usually contain something interesting, like instructions on anal (Nancy Reagan) or slap fights (Lady Bird Johnson). But Laura Bush is bucking the trend.

The reception to Mrs. Bush’s pitch has been mixed so far. “She was not forthcoming about anything that I would consider controversial,” the publisher who met with her said. “We questioned her rigorously, but it was one-word answers. I considered it the worst, or the most frustrating, meeting of its sort that I’ve ever had.”

Well, she's an idiot, so you should expect that sort of thing.

When the publisher who went to the White House was asked what impression of Mrs. Bush’s politics he came away with, he sighed and said, “You got the sense she’s just like him.”

Who would think a born again Christian would be just like her born again Christian husband? I'm shocked.

Even Curtis Sittenfeld, who spent months researching Mrs. Bush’s life story, is conflicted about the hypothetical memoir. “Do you remember after Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston separated, it was more interesting to wonder what Aniston thought than to find out what she thinks?” Sittenfeld said over the phone last week. “Sometimes when people share their thoughts it’s sort of disappointing.”

That's the saddest sentence I have read in quite some time. Hearing what is going on in Laura Bush's head sounds like learning what your dog would say if it could talk. Food, ball, walk.