John McCain is Now President of Train Wreckistan

In a speech so horrible that it made Americans understand what it is like to be a POW, John McCain rambled on for an eternity Thursday night, as he accepted the Republican nomination. CNN's Jeffrey Toobin broke it down.

“I thought it was the worst speech by a nominee that I’ve heard since Jimmy Carter in 1980. I thought it was disorganized, I thought it was it was theme-less, I thought it was very, very boring…I personally cannot remember a single policy proposal that he made because they had nothing connecting them. I found it shockingly bad.”

Jeffrey is obviously being too kind. About halfway through, I gave up, gave away all the troop positions I knew and asked Charlie to kill me.

Bush speechwriter Michael Gerson was also not impressed.

"Pretty disappointing," Gerson said. "I think that was a missed opportunity. Many Americans needed to hear from this speech something they have never heard from Republicans before. And in reality, a lot of the policy they’ve heard from Republicans before."

Nixon, Ford, Reagan, and Clinton presidential adviser David Gergen also no likey.

It struck an emotional chord with those in the hall, but the substantive part was poor, he didn't differentiate between him and Bush and the country has had enough of Bush.

Honestly, it was like having your ears and eyes raped for 40 minutes. At the beginning, McCain was standing in front of a green background. When the camera finally pulled back for a wide shot, a giant home was revealed. Just some random, pointless home. Because if there is anything McCain wants to be associated with at this point, it is giant homes.

I've got like 4 or 12 of these things. And I was a POW!

Congrats on winning the Train Wreckistan nomination, Johnny!