Jul 8, 2008

Lasers and Robot Monkeys!

The Republican and Democratic Conventions are gettin' some kick ass shit to protect the precious politicians. Each convention will receive $50 million from Congress (how hard was that to get?) for "security expenses." And they will be using that money for some awesome stuff.

CNN's Ed Lavendera reports that Denver and St. Paul officials have said that the types of weapons being purchased are "top secret."

Apart from the traditional pepper spray and rubber bullets employed by police for controlling large protests, Denver, Colorado and St. Paul, Minnesota officials may be spending large sums on weapons CNN calls 'science fiction like'.

Lasers that shoot out of cop's eyes.
Trained attack zombies (will go horribly wrong).
Urine gun.
Freeze ray.
Robot monkeys.
Glue bomb.
Wolverines that shoot out of cop's eyes.



Heather said...

I drink too however I did know that happened to Obama it was reported on the news today. What they did not report however was the part about the plane being loaned by Clinton. I agree this is very suspicious and appreciate you taking the time on this blog to draw more attention to it! P.S. I love the name stop all monsters will you be doing T-shirts sometime soon.

DA said...

Hmmm. I hadn't thought about T-shirts - but now that you mention it, I just may do that.

Denis Faye said...

I know they've developed -- and I'm not making this up -- a kind of ray gun that makes you poop your pants. I hope they use those. A lot.

And I'd like a t-shirt, please.

Denis Faye said...

Here. I found it!