How To Move From 2nd to 1st

Did you know Barack Obama almost died yesterday? Me neither. But I drink a lot, so I have an excuse. His steery thingy on his plane wasn't working and they had to make an emergency landing.

As the pilot struggled to re-gain control of the pitch of the plane - the angle of the nose of the plane - Obama was told that he and the other 44 passengers on board might have to assume the brace position upon landing, bending forward with their heads between their knees.

That ultimately did not happen, but National Transportation Safety Board chairman Mark Rosenker told ABC News' Dennis Powell yesterday that the incident "is extremely serious in this particular case.

That's why I don't fly on presidential candidates planes. Otherwise, I'd be all up in that shit.

So, where'd the plane come from?

This was not Obama's regular campaign plane, which is being overhauled. It was a loaner, having previously been used by Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY.

Oh, no you didn't!

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