The French Can Now Stay Drunk and Awake For Hours and Hours

Finally, freedom has come to France. Red Bull will now be sold in France. I consider this to be an incredible American victory against oppression.

Red Bull has been banned in France for 12 years because health authorities weren't sure about the ingredient taurine. Taurine is banned in several countries. Those countries are called the "nap belt."

Until now a modified version of the drink, containing caffeine but not taurine, was on sale in France.

The French government was forced to legalize the drink because European Union regulations state that a product made or sold in other EU countries cannot be banned unless a health risk is proven, France's food safety agency said on their website.

The health authority nonetheless remained skeptical about Red Bull's safety, given the high levels of taurine and caffeine, suspected of causing "neurophysiological problems".

Bro, neurophysiological problems are why I drink Red Bull. Welcome to the real world, France. Now get drunk and stay awake.