May 3, 2010

Please Tell Me He Didn't Fuck It


A man from the eastern Germany state of Saxony man is so in love with his ailing cat that he has reportedly married her.

So nice. Now the cat can die in peace.

Postal worker Uwe Mitzscherlich decided to marry his 15-year-old black and white cat Cecilia because she may not have long to live, daily Bild reported on Monday.

“Cecilia has such a trusting nature,” Mitzscherlich told the paper. “Between us there is an inner bond, a harmony of hearts – it’s unique.”

Oh, God. You're fucking her, aren't you?

The two met some 10 years ago when he was vacationing on the Baltic Sea coast.

Was she also vacationing? Or was she a local? "Hello, I am Uwe." "Meow."

Dressed in a tuxedo with a top hat, the groom held his bride, who wore a tiny wedding gown. The ceremony was complete with flowers, a wedding march, vows and a kiss.

Followed by a cat rape.


André said...

hey, would you marry a woman if you could just marry the pussy? this guy is just way ahead of the curve

Astolphe said...

Damn André, you beat me to the pussy joke.

Louis said...

"Bild" may not be the trustworthiest one off all journals in the Holy Roman Empire of the German Nation. It's rather what you would call "Yellow Press".