Feb 16, 2010

Bestest Candidate Nominee!

Oh, we have a front runner. Meet George Hutchins. He's a Republican Conservative, which is different from all them Republican Liberals running around.

What is George fighting for?

The LEGAL WAR TO FIGHT FOR U.S. SENIOR CITIZEN RIGHTS

Please. We need someone to fight the legal war instead of the illegal war for senior citizen rights.

And George will CREATE MORE BETTER PAYING JOBS THROUGH DEREGULATION!

As an American I WANT more better paying jobs. And the only way to do that is to stop regulation. My God, can't we just go back to the days when kids worked in coal mines?!!?

And George will FIGHT OBAMA NATION - IMPEACHMENT

It's about time. The guy has committed so many impeachable offenses it is astounding. And he's black!

George will also WIN THE CULTURE WAR. END GAY MARRIAGE. STOP TERRORISTS. FAKE REPUBLICANS.

I agree with all of those - even though I don't know what "Fake Republicans" means. And I don't know when stopping terrorists because part of the culture war but I love it!



Let's get some Hutch up in this bitch!

4 comments:

Jason said...

Who needs those fuckin' queer Hollywood production suites when you have Windows XP Movie Maker.

Jason said...

Okay. I've got an idea. We'll split up America into two mock-countries: Jesusland vs. Gaytown. Whoever's GDP is larger in 5 years, wins. Losers gets the fuck out.

elaine said...

Nice porn stache on that guy. I hope he wins just so we can see what kind of gay drug scandal he gets involved in; the more somebody declares their "moral values," the more of a doozy they have hidden in their closet. And the person who made that lovely film did a lousy job spell-checking.

John said...

Dave,

I didn't expect this to happen, but I actually just became a Tea Party Conservative *just now* due to the strength of argument presented on that dude's website. Holy shit. I didn't think it could happen, but now I realize you are just a liberal gaywad and that I was dragging this country to hell by allowing unlimited appeals on the death penalty. I'm so ashamed.

Anyway, see you on the flip side and best of luck being a liberal gaywad in the culture war that we're about to win.

Blitzkrieg!!!