Texas Isn't For Readers

Texas is my favorite state run by idiots. This week, Assistant Superintendent Brad Pollitt of Smith-Cotton High School decided evolution is a bit too controversial. Turns out the marching band went all science on the school with their latest T-shirts.


Obviously, parents were enraged.

While the shirts don’t directly violate the district’s dress code, Assistant Superintendent Brad Pollitt said complaints by parents made him take action.

“I made the decision to have the band members turn the shirts in after several concerned parents brought the shirts to my attention,” Pollitt said.

Please. We can't have teenagers running around with the theory of evolution on their chests. Next thing you know, they will have the theory of relativity on their pants, then all hell will break loose and they'll start having analcourse.

Pollitt said the district is required by law to remain neutral where religion is concerned.

“If the shirts had said ‘Brass Resurrections’ and had a picture of Jesus on the cross, we would have done the same thing,” he said.

Because, in Texas, evolution is considered "religion."

Please, please, please become your own country.