Dec 19, 2008

Finally, Vikings Fighting Aliens

Seems like I've been waiting for this movie my entire life. It's called Outlander and it's vikings vs. aliens. Do you actually need to know more? Fine.
Outlander begins when a space craft crashes into the majestic fjords of ancient Norway and into the time of the Vikings.
Okay, so far this is the greatest film in the history of film. But, you probably need more because you are lame.
From the wreckage emerge two bitter enemies: a soldier from another world - Kainan - and a bloodthirsty creature known as the Moorwen
The fucking Moorwen! Jesus Christ, hide everything! Women, children, trees, baskets, hats, pots, EVERYTHING! THE FUCKING MOORWEN IS HERE!
As the Moorwen ravages the Viking world, killing everything in its path, Kainan forms an unlikely alliance with the primitive but fierce warriors.
I would expect nothing less from Kainan. Dude's got massive honor crammed in his alien pants.
Combining his advanced technology with ancient Iron Age weapons, the hero leads a desperate attempt to kill the monster - before it destroys them all.
Weird, I just had an orgasm.

Outlander just got a January 23rd release date. And so did I.


Josh Olson said...

Dude, talk about burying the lead - it's from the director of "No Dessert, Dad, Till You Mow the Lawn!!!!"

Todd said...

It's not relevant to this post, but I'm curious to see your take on this story: