O’REILLY: So you can see the debate over gay marriage is now a full fledge national battle. As talking points said last night the election of Barack Obama has emboldened secular progressives who feel it is their time. Gay marriage just the beginning. Other cultural war issues will also be in display very shortly. These include limiting gun possession, legalizing narcotics, unrestricted abortion and the revocation of the Patriot Act.And how. I was waiting for someone to make these connections. Look, here's how it works. First dudes start marrying dudes. Because two dudes are living together and having analcourse, abortions go apeshit. And by apeshit, I mean people having them in the 10th month of pregnancy at pool parties. Why? Because everyone's eye will be on the ball, which is the two gay guys having analcourse. We stop paying attention to the pro-choice freaks, abortion parties start springing up everywhere and whammmo. It's unrestricted abortion time.
Now, this is where it gets crazy. When people suddenly realize that abortion is a fad, they start freaking out. And when they start freaking out, they get high. On drugs. Next thing you know, drugs are legal. That only leads to more dudes marrying dudes and the nation's first abortion festival.
This is when things get really bad. Now, everyone is high, women AND MEN are getting abortions for the hell of it and gay dudes are having sex in wedlock. At this point, Congress says "fuck it" and repeals the Patriot Act. They don't care about anything anymore. Their little hearts are broken, so they stop caring about America. And when people stop caring about America, the Patriot Act is doomed. I mean, it is called THE PATRIOT ACT. Without patriots, it won't work. Think of that scarecrow without a heart. Same deal.
That brings us to guns. With all the rest of this nonsense going on, gun owners will obviously go insane and start shooting gays, drug addicts and people at abortion parties. That's when Congress grows a couple and passes laws to limit gun posession. It will be the last thing they do before they close up Congress.
So, as you can see, O'Reilly was right. Gay marriage is a problem.
5 comments:
Can't follow your logic or his.
Okay, that was hysterical!
Your stuff is regularly funny, we are all (there are thousands of us reading)just not commenting because we don't want you to get the big head. You might start feeling all confident and stuff.
'Cause then, it'll be like Billy Joel hooking up with Christie Brinkley. You would think that his happiness would be good for his music.
But no.
You make me want to have an abortion free from restriction.
...I still get the forceps, right?
By gum.
Yet more proof (if more is actually needed) that every single conservative nutjob with an anti-gay agenda in America, is desperately trying to conceal their own throbbing and fiery homosexuality.
It's a psychologist's wet dream.
The Obama victory made my year so far, but headline news on either Rush Limbaugh or Bill O'Reilly being caught in a "compromising position" with teenage male prostitutes would top it off nicely.
Oh yes.
I always knew Bill O'Reilly was a staunch supporter of gays & lesbians adopting kids. It seems strange to me that he would be against gay marriage. As backward as some of his views may be, he often makes, umm, sense too!
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