Oct 26, 2008

Stop All Monsters California Voter Guide

I'm Getting All Local And Shit!

PROP 1A - Shit Yes. We need to get some fast trains up in this bitch. You can quote me on that.

PROP 2 - God Damn YES. The bullshit campaign waged by the douchebags agains this proposition is insulting to brains. Look, all that it will do is allow egg making chickens to be able to turn around. Right now they are in such cramped spaces they can't move and their feet grow into the bars. How about we pretend we aren't completely evil? May cost a couple of bucks, but sometimes not being a dick costs money.

PROP 3 - NO. Sorry, sick kids, not the time for you to get money. I still like you, though.

PROP 4 - FUCK NO. If you vote yes, I will find you and kill you. So, choose wisely. I'd rather girls not kill themselves instead of telling their parents they want an abortion. But I'm crazy that way.

PROP 5 - Hellz YES. Let's get the dopers out of the pokey and put them in the...rehaby. Non-violenters should be in prison with violenters. That's what Jesus used to say.

PROP 6 - SHIT NO. Check out Prop 5, bitch.

PROP 7 - NICE TRY. NO. Prop 7 is bullshit, created by a billionaire from Arizona. It screws all the small solar, wind and geothermal companies in California out of the market. That's lame. And it has a loophole that could be exploited to drive up costs. Now when has an energy company done that?

PROP 8 - OH, SHIT NO. Let's get tons of gay sex up in this motherfucker. Let 'em marry anyone they want. Plus, the Mormons in Utah have donated shitloads of money to pass this heinous bill, so it will be like kicking Mormons in their weird underwear.

PROP 9 - NOPE. Enough with the money going to prisons. Did you know one of the most powerful unions in the state is the Prison Guards union. Yeah, they just want more money going into the system. They suck.

PROP 10 - SUCK IT T-BOONE. NO. - This was written by Oilman and Republican donor T-Boone Pickens for a guy named T-Boone Pickens. It will fatten his pocket and do little to actually solve the problem.

PROP 11 - YOU PICK! What, am I your fucking Daddy? Do some work yourself. I hate Republicans, so I will vote against. It allows Dems to redraw the districts to their favor - but last time they had this chance, they just worked with Republicans to make sure incumbants stayed in power. It hate them all.

PROP 12 - YES! Helps Iraq and Afghanistan vets get houses or some shit. Which one of you assholes is going to vote against vets?

1 comment:

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