Oct 24, 2008

Another Backwards B Thwarts Non Crime

This is a tale of epic failure that will be sung in mead halls for centuries. Yesterday, the right wing broke the terrible story of Ashley Todd, a 20-year-old McCain volunteer who was mugged while at an ATM in a "bad part of Pittsburgh." Poor girl had a knife to her throat. And that was the good part. When the mugger noticed she had a McCain bumper sticker on her car, he became enraged and carved a "B" onto her face. Sounds like one of your classic politically active muggers, right?



Wow. Brutal. And dyslexic. I'm sure the mugger's friends were watching TV later that night and saying, "Damn, yo, why you carve that B backwards and shit?" Notice the mugger's friends use dialogue provided by an out of touch white guy. They do that because the entire story was fictional.

Yes, surprising as it is that a mugger wouldn't carve a backwards "B" into someone's face after scanning her car bumper in the middle of an assault, he didn't.
A Pittsburgh police commander says a volunteer for the McCain campaign who reported being robbed and attacked near a bank ATM in Bloomfield has confessed to making up the story. Police say charges will be filed. More details to follow.
Ashley also wasn't on the ATM video. (Oops) Note to Ashley: Watch more Law and Order. She also said she didn't remember being cut, then later said she had been knocked unconscious. Then she failed a lie detector test.

FAIL.

There's McCain's base.

1 comment:

Denis Faye said...

At first glance, I thought someone had carved a butt on her cheek.