Fox News Upset About Not Real Story

Last week, Al Franken was speaking on the phone to Lorne Michaels. Apparently, Franken was joking around about McCain having to say he "approves this message" after his commercials, which are becoming more and more insane. Michaels thought that would make a great sketch and told his head writer to write it up. End of story? No. Because we live in the land of retarded conservatives.

SNL did the sketch this weekend. It was terrible. Then Politico crafted a story about how Franken had written the sketch from Minnesota and phoned it in. Then Fox and Friends had a mini meltdown over the new fictional account of what didn't happen.

"Not only is he running for Senate in Minnesota, he also had to phone in a sketch to Lorne Michaels," began Brian Kilmeade. "They've been friends for 30 years ... and they've both maxxed out on their contributions to Barack Obama."

Um. Writing is not giving money to Obama, so even if this was real, you just look like more of a moron.

"We've talked extensively on this program about how NBC does appear to be in the tank for Barack Obama," added Steve Doocy. "They've got this hit job on John McCain written by Al Franken, who is running for Senate in the state of Minnesota."

It's okay to call the Franken campaign to ask for details of what happened. Some would even consider it part of your job before you go on television and make an ass out of yourself.

"How could this possibly be legal?" demanded Doocy. "One candidate for federal office essentially orchestrating talking points on a grand scale against another."

Um. How fucking stupid are you, Doocy? Even if he did do it, it would be COMPLETELY LEGAL. Why? Because they are words. You can give words to other people in our society for free. I know, it's a crazy idea for an idiot to wrap their head around, but give it a shot. And I'm not going to charge you for this knowledge.

"The onus falls on NBC for this," agreed Gretchen Carlson. "The proof is in the pudding when they first denied it."

Did you really just use the word "proof?" You are a clown wrapped up inside of a monkey, wrapped up inside of a jackass.