Mercedes Clemens is certified to massage humans, but she claims the state of Maryland is keeping her from her first love: Massaging horses.
She shut down her equine massage practice in a Washington suburb after state officials told her state law only allows veterinarians to perform such services.
Now she's suing two state agencies, saying regulators are unfairly barring registered massage therapists who want to practice on animals.
I'm going to sue Clemens for making me uncomfortable.
"This isn't just a career for me, it's my passion," Clemens said. "If I was independently wealthy and I didn't need an income, I would do this for nothing. That's how much I love it."
Oh, fuck me. This just went way beyond uncomfortable. Clemens is now in creepy lady land.