Dead Gay Couple Breaks Up

The Vatican has decided to split up an awesome gay dead couple. John Henry Newman was a British Cardinal during the Victorian era. Father Ambrose St. John was his "close friend."

"There is little doubt that Newman and St John were gay and had a loving, long-term same sex relationship. It is impossible to know whether this relationship involved sex. It is conceivable that both men had a gay orientation but chose to abstain from sex. Abstinence does not alter a person's sexual orientation."

I guess. If you want to go with the horrible, boring version of the story. In my version, they banged each other to sleep every night, Victorian style. Either way, Newman wanted to be buried beside his close friend who was a man.

Now Newman is being "fast tracked" for sainthood. I'm assuming he's not going to be the Saint of Buggering, because the Vatican wants to move Newman's body and leave St. John behind. Nothing worse than breaking up a couple of old queens against their will. The gay community is upset. The Vatican is saying they are full of shit.

This could be the first battle in the coming Gay-Christian War.