Aug 31, 2009

Now THIS is a Fire Picture



Very impressive. I mean, it's total devastation, but that's quite a photo.

Taken by a man I only know as Bean.

A Revolutard



Please stop the Nazi, Socialist, Communist president.

Wondertards

Form of a glacier. Form of a douchebag.

Something For Tea Baggers To Never Read

Turns out we're doing okay making money back on TARP.
Nearly a year after the federal rescue of the nation’s biggest banks, taxpayers have begun seeing profits from the hundreds of billions of dollars in aid that many critics thought might never be seen again.
But, but, but...Obama...debt...blah blah blah....
The profits, collected from eight of the biggest banks that have fully repaid their obligations to the government, come to about $4 billion, or the equivalent of about 15 percent annually, according to calculations compiled for The New York Times.
It's not all roses, but the money wasn't tossed down a black hole, like the Tea Baggers want you to think. They're kind of obsessed with black holes, actually. Wait, I'm thinking of the Salad Tossers..

Texas Isn't For Readers

Texas is my favorite state run by idiots. This week, Assistant Superintendent Brad Pollitt of Smith-Cotton High School decided evolution is a bit too controversial. Turns out the marching band went all science on the school with their latest T-shirts.


Obviously, parents were enraged.
While the shirts don’t directly violate the district’s dress code, Assistant Superintendent Brad Pollitt said complaints by parents made him take action.

“I made the decision to have the band members turn the shirts in after several concerned parents brought the shirts to my attention,” Pollitt said.
Please. We can't have teenagers running around with the theory of evolution on their chests. Next thing you know, they will have the theory of relativity on their pants, then all hell will break loose and they'll start having analcourse.
Pollitt said the district is required by law to remain neutral where religion is concerned.

“If the shirts had said ‘Brass Resurrections’ and had a picture of Jesus on the cross, we would have done the same thing,” he said.
Because, in Texas, evolution is considered "religion."

Please, please, please become your own country.


That's my kid. He really doesn't understand how the Giants keep winning.

Aug 28, 2009

Bestest Candidate Nominee

There is nothing better than a candidate running for office who wants the president to be dead.

Rex Rammell, a long-shot candidate slated to run against incumbent C.L. ''Butch'' Otter in the May 2010 GOP primary, made the comment at a Republican rally Tuesday in Twin Falls where talk turned to the state's planned wolf hunt, for which hunters must purchase an $11.50 wolf tag. The hunt is due to begin on Tuesday.

When an audience member shouted a question about ''Obama tags,'' Rammell responded, ''The Obama tags? We'd buy some of those.''

Ha ha! We should kill the president! It's funny!
Rammell told The Associated Press Thursday he sees no reason to apologize for the comment because it was just a joke.
Rape Rex Rammell! What? It's a joke?!?!

After Rammell's comment was published in the Times-News, he said one person sent him an e-mail indicating he would ask the FBI for an investigation.

Threatening the president can be a felony punishable by five years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

''I'm probably safe,'' Rammell said. ''I'm not the one that started the whole thing.''
Best excuse, ever. I didn't start it. I look forward to Rammell's debate with a five-year-old.

Take The Liar Poll!

Republicans have sent out a "health care poll" for their peeps to take. It's a good one! Lets take it!



No! Only for illegal immigrants and lazy people!


Obama!



Yes! It's almost like no one is talking about the Death Panels and the cost and the Death Panels and socialism and Death Panels. I don't even know about that stuff!


Yes! Also, dragons scare me!


No! And thank God my insurance company would never do such a thing! Just let me keep my generic prescription and leave me alone!


No! Especially not the Dumbocrats! I want my health care decisions to be decided by an accountant in an insurance company office, like they always have been!


No! And I support the war!

Radio Today

I'll be on KPCC, 98.3 here in Los Angeles from 2-3pm today.

Subject: Politics. If you can believe that.

Man Doesn't Want Socialism to Take Away His Socialism

We are spiraling into a deep hole of stupidity and there appears to be no way out. Welcome to the Michelle Bachmann town hall meeting.

LeRoy Schaffer, a St. Francis city council member, dressed in a tuxedo and top hat for the occasion. Shaffer got visibly emotional asking Bachmann about the future of health care and the role of special interests in Washington.

“I’ll be danged if I am going to give up my Social Security because of socialism,” Schaffer said, before being booed by the crowd.

First of all, the board game Monopoly thanks you for dressing up for the occasion. Second, oh dear. Maybe you should stop listening to Rush, Beck and Fox News, because they have turned you into a loud, national joke.

Aug 27, 2009

Glenn Beck Faces Reality

This ship is going down.



Aw.

Aug 26, 2009

This Is The Apocalypse, Right?

Fucking amazing



First of all, Rush does need to get off his balls.

Second, are they seriously going to now go with the argument that Obama is going to force men to get a circumcision. Really? MY GOD ARE YOU THAT FUCKING CRAZY!?!!?

YOU MAKE ME WANT TO TEAR MY OWN BALLS OFF AND SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FACE AND EAT MY OWN FOOT AND GOUGE MY EYES OUT AND RIP MY INTESTINES OUT AND SLAM MY HEAD INTO A WALL UNTIL MY BRAINS DROP ON THE FLOOR.

I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

UPI Rips Open a Big Bag of Bad Journalism

The AARP just conducted a poll on health insurance and found a surprising result: 8 out of 10 people want a public option.
All: 79 percent favor/18 percent oppose
Democrats: 89 percent favor/8 percent oppose
Republicans: 61 percent favor/33 percent oppose
Independents: 80 percent favor/16 percent oppose
Big news right? Not if you read United Press International. Check out this factually misleading and horribly unprofessional headline:

AARP poll shows divide over public option

Word. Another 80% to 20% divide. It's like we're tearing ourselves down the middle. The side middle, also known as the edge, or the fringe middle.

Stay classy, UPI.

GOP Looking For White Guy


The Republican Party is searching for an awesome white guy, according to Kansas Representative and eternal idiot Lynn Jenkins.
"Republicans are struggling right now to find the great white hope," said Jenkins. "I suggest to any of you who are concerned about that, who are Republican, there are some great young Republican minds in Washington."
It's so hard to find a great, white guy to lead you. White guys, in particular, are very, very difficult to find.
Jenkins' spokeswoman Mary Geiger told the paper that Jenkins' remark was not meant to refer to "race, creed or any background."
Totally. That's why she said, "White."

On a more honest note, her nose freaks me out.

Christians Christianing

As a Facebook fan of Sarah Palin, I often receive messages from the lady Messiah. Last night, she wrote up a nice message about Ted Kennedy's passing and offered her sympathies. Being a normal human being, I wrote a comment that said something like, "You're disgusting. How dare you express any sympathies after all of the vile hate you have spewed out of your mouth."

One of her minions was not impressed.


I actually would not mind being stuck on Satan's pitchfork with Ted. It actually sounds like a pretty good time.

Then Winston remembered that he is a Christian who doesn't know how to spell.


Good people. Apppppology accepted (For being a Christian). Don't you wish they would all apologize for being Christians?

Our Bad!

Sometimes Democracy is fucked up.
A U.S. military helicopter carrying ballot boxes packed with votes from last week's Afghan election accidentally dumped some of them somewhere over the rugged mountains of Nuristan, officials said on Wednesday.

Some 50 ballot boxes were being carried in a "sling load" beneath a Chinook helicopter from the provincial capital Paroon when the accident happened, they said.
So, all you Afghani's who risked your lives to vote - totally sorry. It was an "accident."

Aug 25, 2009

Ted Kennedy Dead, Health Care Goes With Him

No one will start talking about this until tomorrow, but healthcare just died with Ted Kennedy. The Democrats now only have 59 votes in the Senate. They cannot stop a filibuster now. This is one reason Republicans wanted to prolong the process.
Under a 2004 Massachusetts law, a special election must be held 145 to 160 days after a Senate seat becomes vacant. The winner of that election would serve the remainder of a senator's unexpired term.
So, that's January before a replacement will be elected. And who knows - the new Senator may be a blue dog. January is a long ways off. How much more information will be put out by the insurance companies and Republicans for our shockingly stupid citizens to absorb into their weasel sized brains?

Health care is done.

It's a disaster. One the idiots in the White House and in charge of Congress should have seen coming a long time ago. I did, so they should have.

Eternally Shocking


Someone took a poll in Arkansas, which must be one of the most depressing jobs in the history of the world. The results were, as expected, beyond stupid.
The new survey of Arkansas from Public Policy Polling finds the state to be very conservative, very Birtherist, and very much opposed to President Obama on health care. On health care, only 29% support Obama's plan, with 60% against it.
Well, that's not surprising, because his health care plan will help people like them the most - and they are retarded.
Only 40% approve of President Obama's job performance, with 56% disapproving.
Fair enough, he is black, after all.
In addition, only 45% say Obama was born in the United States, with a strong 31% saying he was not, and 24% unsure.
I mentioned he's black, right?
In addition, respondents were asked whether Rush Limbaugh or Barack Obama has the better vision for America: Limbaugh 55%, Obama 45%.
So, go form a Rush Nation. How awesome would that be? We could then nuke them.

Aug 24, 2009

Glenn Beck Goes Eastern Eurpoean

Glenn has a new book coming out. Apparently, he gives the gift of teaching us how to argue with idiots.

And he's wearing an East German army uniform. Because...East Germany was...communist. He's a smart one.

Rush Opens His Race Hate Hole


I can't find anything wrong with this statement from the doughy, sex vacationer, drug addict, millionaire, three time divorcee.
Obama "wants us to have the same health care and plan that he had in Kenya" and "wants to be the black FDR.
The dude is right. Obama has an AWESOME health care plan when he was in Kenya. First of all, Kenya's health care is the envy of the world. Second, Obama was born there and he didn't die.

Finally, Someone Speaks the Truth About EMP's

We've been living with our heads in the sand but the Republicans have not. It's time to take heed of their warning about the threat of an Electomagnetic Pulse attack.

You know it's a serious subject when the ex-Governor/enemy of science Mike Huckabee is going to be there.

We're all going to die. Huckabee will tell us how.

Followed by a prayer service.

Aug 23, 2009

Please Return The Baby Jesus Head

No questions asked, just give us back the head of the baby Jesus.
Police are looking for the people who stole the head of baby Jesus off a marble statue at a church in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin.
Cut to: College student waking up, hung over beyond reason, looking at the severed head of the baby Jesus lying on his floor, with a cigarette hanging out of its mouth.

Face It

Liberals are to Obama as Christians were to Bush.

Just something to be used and never served. They have both been played. The only difference is liberals are waking up to it rather quickly and the Christians keep backing Republicans who talk a big religious game, but only serve corporations.

Obama seems to be no different. He tells liberals what you will do for them, then he serves his corporate overlords.

Wish I could say I was surprised.

Obama's going to be a one termer.

Aug 18, 2009

Bye, Fucker.

Bob Novak is dead.
Chicago Sun-Times columnist Robert Novak, one of the nation’s most influential journalists, who relished his “Prince of Darkness” public persona, died at home here early Tuesday morning after a battle with brain cancer.
Thanks for all the treason.

Aug 17, 2009

Reagan Was a Visionary

Remember how spot on Reagan was about how horrible socialized medicine would be?



Old people are suffering under medicare. SUFFERING. ENDLESSLY.

Doctors have no freedom. Patients have no freedom. It's like they are in a Turkish prison!

No socialized medicine!

This Is A Good Idea

Thom Hartmann is onto something.

Dear President Obama,

I understand you're thinking of dumping your "public option" because of all the demagoguery by Sarah Palin and Dick Armey and Newt Gingrich and their crowd on right-wing radio and Fox. Fine. Good idea, in fact.

Instead, let's make it simple. Please let us buy into Medicare.

It would be so easy. You don't have to reinvent the wheel with this so-called "public option" that's a whole new program from the ground up. Medicare already exists. It works. Some people will like it, others won't - just like the Post Office versus FedEx analogy you're so comfortable with.

Just pass a simple bill - it could probably be just a few lines, like when Medicare was expanded to include disabled people - that says that any American citizen can buy into the program at a rate to be set by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) and the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) which reflects the actual cost for us to buy into it.

So it's revenue neutral!

To make it available to people of low income, raise the rates slightly for all currently non-eligible people (like me - under 65) to cover the cost of below-200%-of-poverty people. Revenue neutral again.

Most of us will do damn near anything to get out from under the thumbs of the multi-millionaire CEOs who are running our current insurance programs. Sign me up!

This lets you blow up all the rumors about death panels and grandma and everything else: everybody knows what Medicare is. Those who scorn it can go with Blue Cross. Those who like it can buy into it. Simplicity itself.

Of course, we'd like a few fixes, like letting Medicare negotiate drug prices and filling some of the holes Republicans and AARP and the big insurance lobbyists have drilled into Medicare so people have to buy "supplemental" insurance, but that can wait for the second round. Let's get this done first.

Simple stuff. Medicare for anybody who wants it. Private health insurance for those who don't. Easy message. Even Max Baucus and Chuck Grassley can understand it. Sarah Palin can buy into it, or ignore it. No death panels, no granny plugs, nothing. Just a few sentences.

Replace the "you must be disabled or 65" with "here's what it'll cost if you want to buy in, and here's the sliding scale of subsidies we'll give you if you're poor, paid for by everybody else who's buying in." (You could roll back the Reagan tax cuts and make it all free, but that's another rant.)

We elected you because we expected you to have the courage of your convictions. Here's how. Not the "single payer Medicare for all" that many of us would prefer, but a simple, "Medicare for anybody who wants to buy in."

Respectfully,

Thom Hartmann

Though, I still disagree with how he spells his first name.

When God Goes Batshit Crazy


All I have to so is, "Please." Oh, sweet Jesus, please make this happen.

Michele Bachmann was asked if she would ever run for President.
"If I felt that's what the Lord was calling me to do, I would do it," she answered. "When I have sensed that the Lord is calling me to do something, I've said yes to it. But I will not seek a higher office if God is not calling me to do it. That's really my standard. "If I am called to serve in that realm I would serve," she concluded, "but if I am not called, I wouldn't do it."
That is a really good standard. Does he call on the phone?

No Worries

This dude is just hanging around outside of the UVW in Phoenix, where Obama is speaking later today.


A man, who decided not to give his name, was walking around the pro-health care reform rally at 3rd and Washington streets, with a pistol on his hip, and an AR-15 (a semi-automatic assault rifle) on a strap over his shoulder.
He's black, so that should seriously confuse all the Tea Baggers.

Aug 16, 2009

I Like It!


Oh, shit, that's not going to go well.

This is a drawing by some French guy who goes by Studiofolk.

Christians Run Amok On Facebook

Christians are losing their minds on Facebook due to the impending health care reform. Apparently, Jesus would not have wanted us to give medical care to the less fortunate if it meant raising taxes. These crazy Christians keep popping up on my friend's pages for some reason.

One woman, who was adamant that God would not approve of universal health care, later wrote a post about Obama. My comedian friend reposted it.

Obviously, she's a good Christian woman, who cares about people. Like Jesus!


The stupidity is amazing.

Aug 14, 2009

A Brutal GOP Beatdown



My God, that is epic.

New Hope For NAMBLA

It's nice of Senator Grassley to give hope to groups like the North American Man/Boy Love Association. They want to be able to have sex with boys. Legally. Well, we have a Senator who might take up your cause.
ThinkProgress asked Grassley if he is willing to buck the will of the majority of Iowans. “That poll is old,” Grassley replied dismissively. “I base my decisions not on polls but on town meetings and mail,” he added.
So, there you go. All you have to do, child molesters, is pack a town hall meeting, shout how much you want to have sex with boys, start a letter writing campaign and Grassley will take up your cause.

Good times.

Aug 13, 2009

What To Be Mad About

Get Ready To Burn

The fires of hell are approaching.
HARRY Markopolos -- the whistleblower on Bernie Madoff who proved to be much smarter than the SEC -- says there are evildoers out there who will make the Ponzi scum "look like small-time."
Markopolos gave a speech to 400 of the faithful at the Greek Orthodox Church in Southampton and predicted major scandals will soon be revealed about the unregulated, $600 trillion, credit-default swap market. "To put it in simple terms, it is like buying fire insurance policies from five different insurance companies on your neighbor's house and then burning down the house," he said.
I've read a bit about this on some financial sites. Add to that the coming housing meltdown and we're not in good shape. Oh, did I say, 'Coming housing meltdown?' Yeah, I did. The worst part of the housing crisis, Alt A and ARM loans are coming due. They are the rich people who did the exact same thing the poor people did with subprimes, so the bad mortgages will be worth more.

Epic fail coming.

Very, Very Poor Shopper

This just isn't going to get you that deal.
Miami-Dade Fire Rescue says a woman set herself on fire inside a Miami mall.

Fire Rescue spokesman Arnold Piedrahita says the 43-year-old woman doused herself with flammable liquid Thursday and set herself on fire inside a store at the Mall of the Americas. The woman then walked around the mall while she was on fire. She suffered third-degree burns to over 75 percent of her body.

I always say barter first, then look around for a better price, then set yourself on fire.

Pot Death Penalty?

Obviously, pot is one of the worst problems facing our nation. It turns everyone who smokes it into either a murderer or a rapist. Those are your only options.

Thankfully, Georgia State Republican lawmaker Tommy Benton is doing what he can to stop the scourge known as marijuana.
In a July 29, 2009 email, Rep. Benton wrote: “Thanks for the email. We will have to agree to disagree on this and whether or not money is wasted (by mandating the state to prosecute minor marijuana offenders). I am opposed to the legalization of marijuana. I think we should go to caning for people caught using and maybe execute dealers.
I would also like to suggest rape camps for offenders.
That would solve the problem as well. That is what they do in Singapore and they don’t have a drug problem.
Right, but they are super uptight.

At least stoners are mellow people.
However, I am deeply disturbed at some of the nearly 250 comments the story has gotten at the NORML Blog. There are threats of assassinating, shooting, caning, and kicking the ass of Rep. Benton, as well as comparisons to Adolf Hitler. Some have even threatened his wife, children, and family dog and published Rep. Benton’s home telephone number (which I’ve scrubbed).
Stop it!
Oh, shit. It's finally here. The stoner/southerner war we've all been waiting for.

Gay Stop Fail

This is a sad day for self hating gays.
Focus on the Family will shed its controversial Love Won Out program for transforming homosexuals into heterosexuals because of budget troubles, the conservative media ministry said Tuesday.
God is more about turning a profit. Plus, he's less upset about a dude putting another dude's balls in his mouth.
"The economic challenges led us to this strategic decision," Focus vice president Gary Schneeberger said Wednesday. "Love Won Out is not an inexpensive event to stage, and rarely, in over 50 cities where it's been held, have we ever made back our investment, despite good attendance."
Gays are cheap. Noted.

For those gays who don't know what to do now, I recommend going old school and getting a beard.

Aug 12, 2009

Calming Words During a Chaotic Time

Thank God there are a few Republicans out there who understand we need to calm people down and have intelligent conversations. You ask for reason, I give you Representative Paul Broun of Georgia.
He also spoke of a “socialistic elite” - Obama, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid - who might use a pandemic disease or natural disaster as an excuse to declare martial law.

“They’re trying to develop an environment where they can take over,” he said. “We’ve seen that historically.”
Thank you, Gandhi.

Soon We Will Be Hitting Old People With Hammers

Republican lawmakers are actually going along with the dumbest lies of all time. This is Representative John Mica of Florida. He is a double idiot because he is a Republican from Florida.
“They create a whole new category,” Mica, a Winter Park Republican, said on WDBO. "There are death counselors. There is authorization for reimbursement for those counselors for Medicare. You have a whole new cottage industry.
Also, hospice is EVIL. If someone is dying, no one should tell them. They should not be allowed to speak of it. As a matter of fact, they shouldn't even be dying. It's irresponsible.

Senator Chuck Grassley knows what I'm talking about.
“In the House bill, there is counseling for end of life,” Grassley said. “You have every right to fear. You shouldn’t have counseling at the end of life, you should have done that 20 years before. Should not have a government run plan to decide when to pull the plug on grandma.”
Thank you, only guy in America making sense (except for the previous guy). People are stupid for not planning a DNR when they are around 27. Get your shit done, people. You're going to die and when you are dying, you should have all your shit together. Anyone who doesn't is stupid. Also, we are going to kill you anyway.

Your Libural Media At Work

Fail.

CNBC approached Tea Party activists, looking for angry protest events that would make good television, according to a leaked email from a Tea Party discussion group. And one Tea Bagger responded by flagging an upcoming event that, he said, "should be a riot ... literally."

Yesterday, Tea Party Patriots national coordinator Jenny Beth Martin sent an email, obtained by TPMmuckraker, to a Tea Party google group. Martin told the group: "We have a media request for an event this week that will have lots of energy and lots of anger. This is for CNBC."
I've never hated the liberal media more.

The Baby Jesus Answers My Prayers

Turns out there is a God.

Add former Sen. Rick Santorum to the list of potential 2101 Republican presidential candidates.

POLITICO has learned Santorum will visit first-in-the-nation Iowa this fall for a series of appearances before the sort of conservative activists who dominate the state GOP’s key presidential caucuses.

The Pennsylvanian, who lost his 2006 re-election bid, will visit Iowa on October 1st, appearing on a Des Moines radio talk show and speaking to a luncheon and workshop of Iowa’s Right to Life group before heading east to Dubuque, where he’ll headline a fundraiser for the conservative America’s Future Fund PAC and then speak about the future of the GOP to a public audience in the Mississippi River city.

He's like the dumber, male version of Sarah Palin. If you combined Sarah Palin with an empty box, you'd have Rick.

I look forward to the insanity of Ricky.

Aug 11, 2009

More Right Wing "Let's Kill Them"

This time Lou Dobbs takes a stab at saying liberals deserve to die.



He's a bloodsucking leftist -- I mean, you gotta put a stake through his heart to stop this guy.
Only a matter of time until someone is killed. I'm also confused because I thought Lou only talked about illegal immigrants.

Town Halls Very Useful

Important questions are finally being answered and smart topics discussed.



We move forward as a nation.

And They Get Closer....



Some guy named "Obama" is speaking at this one.

Aug 10, 2009

Try Bringing a Sword Next Time, You Pussy

I've said this over and over, but I guess I have to say it again. If you bring a gun to one of the health care town hall meetings, DON'T DROP IT.
Southern Arizona congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords has a new loyal following — but not the one she probably hoped for when she ran for office in 2006.

Conservative activists, opposed to the Democrats’ health care proposals, are jumping at the chance to confront the second-term Democrat and vent their frustrations.

“Yelling and screaming is counterproductive,” she told the Sierra Vista Herald at a Congress on Your Corner event last week.

There, one visitor dropped a gun at the meet n’ greet held in a Douglas Safeway, her staff says.
A gun? That's all you've got? Try a crossbow or a sword, you coward. Maybe a mace. Let's take this shit up a notch.

Aug 9, 2009

World's Biggest Douche Nominee

Keith R. Griffin is from Florida, which makes him a horrible criminal in my eyes. But it gets worse than Keith living in Florida. He also likey young boys.
Keith R. Griffin was charged Wednesday with 10 counts of possession of child pornography after detective found more than 1,000 child pornographic images on his computer, according to a news release issued Thursday.
Well, there you go. If it's on your home computer, you're pretty fucked. At that point, you've got to throw your hands up and accept your fate.

Or do you?
Martin County Sheriff’s detectives didn’t buy a 48-year-old Jensen Beach man claim that his cat was downloading child pornography on his computer.
Good point. I forgot that cats love unhairy balls. They love unhairy balls 10,000 times.
Griffin told detectives he would leave his computer on and his cat would jump on the keyboard. And when he returned there will be strange material downloaded, the release states.
The cat would also tickle his balls until he came. Go figure.

Good News For Eskimos!

We finally found a positive in this "global warming" nonsense. In late July, temperatures hit 86 degrees in a new vacation hot spot called "The Arctic." Eskimos went hog wild!
"The water was really warm," Gruben said. "The kids were swimming in the ocean."
Yay! We're all going to die!

How To Protest. Lesson #1.

This dude is a protester.

Supporters of defeated presidential candidate Megawati Sukarnoputri bury themselves to drive home the message that the Indonesian land belongs to Indonesia and not to foreign company during a protest in Jakarta.
Now that's how you protest. Also, don't eat anything 24 hours before or it becomes a shit hole protest.

World's Biggest Douche Nominee

Kenneth Gladney, 38, is from St. Louis. He's also one of the dumbest assholes on the face of the Earth. Two days ago, Kenny went to a St. Louis town hall meeting to scream about Obama's socialist health care plan. Things didn't go so well and he got into a fight with some union members.
The group claims union members attacked the politically conservative Gladney at the event two days earlier. But members of the union, which supports the president’s health care plan, say Gladney initiated the fight.
Huh. That sounds like a fight. Sadly, Kenny was injured. And now he's protesting being injured.
Backers of Kenneth Gladney, 38, of St. Louis, gathered Saturday at the offices of the Service Employees International Union for an event organized by the pro-limited government Tea Party coalition.


On Saturday, Gladney sat in a wheelchair, his knee bandaged, holding a flag that read: “Don’t Tread on Me.” Others who gathered at the union offices held signs with a slightly different version of the message: “Don’t Tread on Kenny.”
Okay, but I'm going to laugh at Kenny because "Don't Tread on Kenny" is spectacularly retarded. And yet, it's not as spectacularly retarded as this:
Brown told the crowd that Gladney is accepting donations toward his medical expenses. Gladney told reporters he was laid off recently and has no health insurance.
My mind just exploded and I shit my pants. I also just shit your pants.

Kenny Gladney: Everything that is wrong with America.

Why They Are Fascist

We are watching something new happen in America. We are seeing mobs of people, determined to shout down their opponents and threaten violence. The Democrats have committed the horrible act of having a different idea about governing. The mobs refuse to accept that this Democracy has elected people who have different thoughts about the direction our country will take. So, they have decided to stop any discussion and issue threats.

First came the "tea baggers." They were minions sent out to protest in what was called a "grass roots movement." But it wasn't. It was created by and orchestrated by the right wing media and powerful members of the Republican Party, like Dick Armey and Tim Phillips. It was the beginning. Corporations and a right wing party gave marching orders and the street followed. If this was simply protesting, no big deal. Sure it's a blatant lie that the Tea Baggers were a grass roots organization, but that is to be expected from people with few morals, like today's right wing.

Then came the Birthers. A group of people, larger than we at first believed, who claim the president does not have the right to be president. Where did they get this info? From the right wing media. More marching orders, but these step into a more dangerous area: The Democratically elected government is illigitimate. This is where we get into burgeoning fascism. It is a classic tactic. And Republican Congressmen sponsored a bill to push the lie further down the road.

Next came the town hall mobs, driven to rage by the socialist national health care plan. Of course, this is completely false. There is no socialist health care plan. There is an attempt to create a competing universal insurance public option. They are being fed lies to create hysteria - by big business.

But with the town hall mobs, we have crossed into a new area - a dangerous one. Now we are seeing Congressmen being pushed out the back doors of meeting houses by armed security to escape angry mobs. Democratic lawmakers are recieving death threats and some of the mob are recommending to their fellow brown shirts to bring weapons to town hall meetings.

Republicans are only firing up the fury, by lying about "death panels" and comparing Obama to Hitler. Comparing the president to Hitler and the Democratic Party to Nazis is giving the green light to lunatics to kill them, plain and simple. The left occasionally compared Bush to Hitler for invading another country, while these right wing nuts are doing it because he wants to give everyone health care. Bit of a difference there.

And this is terror. Make no mistake about it. When you come to meetings to shout down and threaten anyone with an opposing viewpoint, threaten to kill members of the opposing party and have leaders fueling the fire with lies, you have a serious problem. The conservative leaders are stoking the fires of anger among the ignorant thugs. They are empowering them to commit acts of violence and stop political discource because it goes against what they want.

This is how fascism takes root. Now, I'm not saying it will be effective, but it is what it is: Fascim, pure and simple.

History has taught us this combination of elites pushing people on the street toward mob action does not end well.

Aug 8, 2009

They Are Fascists, By The Way

What you are watching is the birth of a genuine fascist movement here in America. We are at the point where a crossover is happening. The birthers and the tea baggers, screaming down our voted representatives and threatening violence, are quite simply not accepting our democratically elected government. Their actions are completely fascist. There is no other way to look at it. I'll go into it further this weekend, but it's pretty obvious what we are looking at.

Aug 7, 2009

Dumb Alaska Lady Not Going Away

Thankfully, the shockingly stupid Sarah Palin is not going anywhere. She is still bringing her moose killing brain to the people. Today, it vomited out thoughts on Obama's healthcare plan.
The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's "death panel" so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their "level of productivity in society," whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.
First of all, your baby with Down Syndrome couldn't stand in front of a "death panel." I'm guessing it couldn't even roll around in front of a "Death Panel." It would just lay there, like a log. They develop super slow, so standing is pretty out of the question.

Your parents also wouldn't have to stand in front of a "Death Panel." Not that I don't think they should. They absolutely should, because they brought you into world. That is a pretty fucking horrible thing to do and they should be punished. But all of this is moot, because Obama hasn't put forth the wonderful idea of a "Death Panel." He also hasn't come up with a "Throw All Old People Into a Fire Pit" plan.

Let me know when you decide to stop using your down syndrome baby as a prop in everything you do.

Also, you have gone completely crazy.

Soon The Tea Baggers Will Start Killing

Well, it is only a matter of time. If you fill lunatic's heads with lies and set them lose, they will turn to violence.




This dude has hundreds of followers on Twitter and his tweets went viral.

Go get 'em, Jethro.

Killing Jews = Universal Healthcare

Rush's minions hit the streets.



I can only assume a history book would have the same effect on them that crosses have on vampires.

Rush Limbaugh Opens His Dumb Vent Again

Rush is now comparing Obama to Hitler. Um. Because Hitler was for universal healthcare?


Well, I can't argue with that. Obama's little circle has wings on top and so does the Nazi circle. Case closed.


Wait! Doctors are Nazi's too! Motherfucker!

Aug 6, 2009

Sanchez Hits Man With Fact Pipe



That clown is Rick Scott, the founder of an organization that's been funding anti-health care reform protests and the former CEO of a hospital company that, as Sanchez pointed out, paid $1.7 billion to settle charges of overcharging Medicare and Medicaid.

Wow

Murdoch Doesn't Want People To Read His News

This is what we call "Epic fail."
Rupert Murdoch, chairman of the information conglomerate News Corporation, announced after an earnings call late Wednesday that the company now intends to charge for access to all of its news sites.
Good luck with that. It worked really, really well for the record industry. I'm sure profits will soar.
“The digital revolution has opened many new and inexpensive methods of distribution,” Murdoch told analysts. “But it has not made content free. Accordingly we intend to charge for all our news websites.”
Weird, because I plan to continue not reading your websites.

Obama Sucka

Right wing idiots are about to firing up their erections over Obama's new approval ratings. Some polls have him dropping to 50%. Not surprising, considering the turd castle he inherited and his seemingly hands off approach to healthcare.

But there is some delightful news for you Obama minions and it's called "Ronald Reagan."



Dear right wing lunatics, let us know when Obama hits 39% because at that point, he will be just like Reagan.

Thanks for playing.

President Fail

Turns out Obama is a politician. Please discard all that electiony stuff.
Drug industry lobbyists reacted with alarm this week to a House health care overhaul measure that would allow the government to negotiate drug prices and demand additional rebates from drug manufacturers.

In response, the industry successfully demanded that the White House explicitly acknowledge for the first time that it had committed to protect drug makers from bearing further costs in the overhaul. The Obama administration had never spelled out the details of the agreement.

“We were assured: ‘We need somebody to come in first. If you come in first, you will have a rock-solid deal,’ ” Billy Tauzin, the former Republican House member from Louisiana who now leads the pharmaceutical trade group, said Wednesday. “Who is ever going to go into a deal with the White House again if they don’t keep their word? You are just going to duke it out instead.”
Oh, thank God. He's working hand in hand with lobbyists. That should go over well with his base.

I'm just excited that the poor, little drug lobby will get a sweet deal.

Aug 5, 2009

Prepare The Pitchforks

Lovin' Congress!

"The Air Force had asked for one Gulfstream 550 jet (price tag: about $65 million) as part of an ongoing upgrade of its passenger air service," writes Roll Call's Paul Singer. "But the House Appropriations Committee, at its own initiative, added to the 2010 Defense appropriations bill another $132 million for two more airplanes and specified that they be assigned to the D.C.-area units that carry Members of Congress, military brass and top government officials."

They's regular folk.

Chinese Like Cocksuckers More Than Non Cocksuckers

I'm just happy someone took this poll.
The online survey of 3,376 Chinese showed that 7.9 percent of respondents considered sex workers trustworthy, putting them in third place after farmers and religious workers, the Insight China magazine said on its website.
Farmers are the shit. Just sayin'.
The newspaper said the list showed scientists and teachers ranked “way below, and that government functionaries, too, scored hardly better.”
Nothing worse than a scientist and a teacher - except maybe a government worker (None of those people suck your penis for money).

Old People More Horrible Than Before

Guess who's against universal healthcare? The people who have universal healthcare.



Go slap an old person today.

Man Makes Giant Pile of Stupid


This is glorious.

Have you heard of "mountain top removal?" It's a method of mining where they just rip the top of a mountain off. It's very popular in Appalachia, as you can see in this Vanity Fair article titled, The Rape of Appalachia.
With mountaintop removal, it's the landscape that suffers: mile after mile of forest-covered range, great swaths of Appalachia, in some places as far as the eye can see, are being blasted and obliterated in one of the greatest acts of physical destruction this country has ever wreaked upon itself.
Sweet. Who doesn't love it when a mountain gets what it has coming? But now we have a new exciting reason to tear the top off a mountain to find what's inside (usually Goblins). Joe Lucas, vice president of communications for the American Coalition for Clean Coal Electricity, explains the awesomeness of tearing the top of a mountain off.
I can take you to places in eastern Kentucky where community services were hampered because of a lack of flat space — to build factories, to build hospitals, even to build schools. In many places, mountain-top mining, if done responsibly, allows for land to be developed for community space.
That's kick ass! You can build shit on the flat part! Just think how many factories we could have if we ripped the top off all of our stupid mountains! Yay, technology!

Aug 4, 2009

Clinton Meets A Real, Live Puppet

It's adorable! I hope Bill got to take it home.

Now It's Serious


Chuck Norris jumps on board the Birther Stage Coach to Sadville.
I’m writing you because this is no longer a matter merely about proving you meet a presidential prerequisite in the Constitution. Refusing to post your original birth certificate is an unwise political and leadership decision that is enabling the “birther” controversy. The nation you are called to lead is experiencing a growing swell of conspirators who are convinced that you are covering up something. So why not just prove them wrong and shut them up?

I agree with CNN’s Lou Dobbs, who was chastised by his own media outlet for demanding the release of your original birth certificate. Why was that such a bad request? We certainly know why Jon Klein, the president of CNN/U.S., thought it was a bad idea. He previously declared that CNN researchers had determined that your 1961 birth certificate no longer exists.
Chuck, the tight skin on your face freaks me out. Seriously, how old are you?

That's really all I have to say about this.

Aug 3, 2009

Official Tantrums Recommended

Republicans and their health insurance overlords have come up with an awesome plan to deal with Democrats: Throw a baby tantrum.
This morning, Politico reported that Democratic members of Congress are increasingly being harassed by “angry, sign-carrying mobs and disruptive behavior” at local town halls. For example, in one incident, right-wing protesters surrounded Rep. Tim Bishop (D-NY) and forced police officers to have to escort him to his car for safety.
Get 'em! He's got different ideas and wants to help people, like Jesus!

Turns out it's not just a bunch of angry people getting together, but mobs orchestrated by lobbyist-run groups Americans for Prosperity and FreedomWorks. Those are the two groups who created the "Tea Parties," which they also pretended were grass-roots actions. They weren't. The big money monsters of the Republican Party, who came up with things like swiftboating in the past, are now behind these new hideous acts. Today, someone leaked a memo from Bob MacGuffie, a volunteer with the FreedomWorks website Tea Party Patriots. They've got some great ideas.
– Artificially Inflate Your Numbers: “Spread out in the hall and try to be in the front half. The objective is to put the Rep on the defensive with your questions and follow-up. The Rep should be made to feel that a majority, and if not, a significant portion of at least the audience, opposes the socialist agenda of Washington.”

– Be Disruptive Early And Often: “You need to rock-the-boat early in the Rep’s presentation, Watch for an opportunity to yell out and challenge the Rep’s statements early.”

– Try To “Rattle Him,” Not Have An Intelligent Debate: “The goal is to rattle him, get him off his prepared script and agenda. If he says something outrageous, stand up and shout out and sit right back down. Look for these opportunities before he even takes questions.”
Yay, democracy! Spread out, yell, and whatever you do, don't have an intelligent debate. Because, Tea Baggers do love themselves a quality intelligent debate.

Other tips:

Set a bag of shit on fire.
Run across the room with your cock out.
Stand up and slice a hamster in half.
Jump up and eat a Choco Taco in one bite.
Kick a puppy.
Poke your eyes out.

And lastly, murder. Because that's where this is going, isn't it? How long can you rile up lunatics before one does something horrible because he thinks his country is being destroyed.

Birtherplosion!



Wow.

Massive Tool Update

Watching the right wing desperately grasp at things to be mad at Obama about is hilarious. They can't quite wrap their heads around the fact that he is not a liberal, but a right-centrist, so they have to attack him on things like - not holding an old dude's hand. Seriously.

American Thinker, a shockingly ironically named blog, broke down what the media IGNORED after the beer summit.
I am stunned that the official White House Blog published this picture and that it is in the public domain. The body language is most revealing.
STUNNED. HE IS FUCKING STUNNED. What is it? Is Obama raping Gates? Is his cock out as he wanders around the White House lawn? No, BECAUSE IT'S WORSE.


Wow. How in the hell is this man president? And the fact that the White House put this up on their blog is stunning. It shows Obama to be such a jack-ass.
Sergeant Crowley, the sole class act in this trio, helps the handicapped Professor Gates down the stairs, while Barack Obama, heedless of the infirmities of his friend and fellow victim of self-defined racial profiling, strides ahead on his own. So who is compassionate? And who is so self-involved and arrogant that he is oblivious?
Right? Or, it's a carefully constructed photo op that was created to give the impression these two men are getting along well after talking everything over. Only, if you're a right wing idiot, it's the worst thing you've ever seen.
In my own dealings with the wealthy and powerful, I have always found that the way to quickly capture the moral essence of a person is to watch how they treat those who are less powerful. Do they understand that the others are also human beings with feelings? Especially when they think nobody is looking.
Um. There's a photo session happening. That means people are watching and it's going to go out to the world. You do know that cameras don't just operate on their own, right?

Were the right wing idiots done? Oh, good God no. They then had to post an awesome photo of Bush with an old man.




OH SNAP, liburals! You been owned!

That's how Bush do. Here he is "doing" the leader of Germany.



Too bad Senator Bryd doesn't have a vagina.

Aug 2, 2009

Thirsty?

If Thirst is playing in your hood, I highly recommend it.

Aug 1, 2009

The Young Cons New Single!

Get ready to stab your eyes with a fork and pour acid in your ears because the Young Cons are dishing out more mad flow.



So fucking embarrassing.