Feb 5, 2009

Good Times

I'm sick AND I have jury duty.

How awesome is life?

Some motherfucker is going to pay, whether he is guilty or not.

Feb 4, 2009

Obama FAIL

Not that anyone is noticing, but Barack Obama if failing BIGTIME. His stimulus package is in major trouble in the Senate. Republicans are blocking it, even though 68% of Americans are for it. Without the package, we can expect a depression.

He's not using his massive email list or taking to the airwaves to demand its passage.

It's weak and ineffective leadership.

Step your shit up, moron.

Border Fencing!

Remember that super expensive border fence George W. Bush decided to build? The one that had giant gaps in it because rich people didn't want it going through their property? The one our government took land from poor people to build? The one that was far from the US border, cutting out American homeowners from their country?

Yeah, it's not going so great.
More than 600 miles of fencing are already up -- a hodge-podge of metal panels, wire mesh and steel posts. The California, Arizona and New Mexico portions were finished largely without incident. But the last 70 miles, mostly along the Rio Grande Valley in Texas, are proving a challenge.
You don't say.
And all the while, drug smugglers and illegal immigrants continue to breach the fencing that is up, forcing Border Patrol agents and contractors to return again and again for repairs. The smugglers build ramps to drive over fencing, dig tunnels under it, or use blow torches to slice through. They cut down metal posts used as vehicle barriers and replace them with dummy posts, made from cardboard.
I can't believe a giant fence isn't working. I guess Mexicans aren't the same as cows, like we thought.

The Plumber Speaketh

Straight from Joe's mouth.
“I don’t know if the American public deserve me,” he said, “but my son definitely deserves my time now.”
No, we don't deserve someone as awesome as you. Please act accordingly.

Feb 3, 2009

Wait Until The Killing Starts

Still not getting it....

The weekend of Feb. 25, Wells Fargo's insurance division is scheduled to host a 40-person team for a two-day meeting at the Mandalay Bay Hotel, according to the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority.

Kevin Waetke, another spokesman for Wells Fargo, defended the trip. He said the company, which recently acquired Wachovia Corp., had a long-standing tradition of recognizing top employees.

"This year, we have the unique opportunity to bring together our Wells Fargo and new Wachovia mortgage consultants to focus on continuing to do all we can for U.S. homeowners," Waetke said.

Apparently, Wells Fargo is now "reconsidering."

What they don't realize is that they should have never "considered" it in the first place. How is Marie Antoinette anyway?

And They Get Dumbererer

I give you supreme idiot Senator Kit Bond (Republican).

[Bond] plans to offer an amendment that would transfer $5.5 billion in the bill for surface transportation competitive grants to the highway and bridge formula. The grants are meant for larger projects of national or regional significance that can be started within three years. Bond said that is not stimulative.
It is the definition of stimulative.

It's Only A Matter Of Time

This kind of shit will continue until there is a gruesome murder.

A day after Macy’s executives announced lay-offs of 7,000 workers and cut a dividend in half, top company officials received a final installment on $1.39 million in performance bonuses from 2004.

The stock credit plan created in March 2004 brought five top executives “phantom stock units” or stock credits after a three-year holding period ended on Saturday, according to a Securities and Exchange Commission filing on Tuesday.

I don't think we are too far off from the gruesome murder.

Good luck, rich guys.

Christian Bale Techno Remix

Well, that only took a day or so.



I'm on Bale's side in this one. Walking on the set during an emotional scene to look at lights? Fuck off.

Also, HE'S BATMAN.

Obama Pulls A Bush

This is hilariously lame.
President Obama’s new candidate to run the Commerce Department voted in favor of abolishing the agency as a member of the Budget Committee and on the Senate floor in 1995.
Nice work, everybody.

Giant Whore Pulls Out

See ya.

Former senator Tom Daschle has withdrawn his nomination for Health and Human Services Secretary, after it was revealed he failed to pay over $100,000 in taxes. In a statement, Daschle vowed that he “will not be a distraction” from the fight for health care reform.

This is very, very good news.
When Obama picked Tom Daschle to be the HHS Secretary, I nearly shit my pants. In Washington there are whores and there are whores, and then there is Tom Daschle. Tom Daschle would suck off a corpse for a cheeseburger. True, he is probably only the second-biggest whore for the health care industry in American politics — the biggest being doctor/cat-torturer Bill Frist, whose visit to South Dakota on behalf of John Thune in 2004 was one of the factors in ending Daschle's tenure in the Senate.

But in picking Daschle — who as an adviser to the K Street law firm Alston and Bird has spent the last four years burning up the sheets with the nation's fattest insurance and pharmaceutical interests — Obama is essentially announcing that he has no intention of seriously reforming the health care industry. And I know that lots of public policy people are hailing this pick, saying Daschle is perfect for the job ("His new leadership position confirms that the incoming Obama administration has made health care reform a top and early priority for action in 2009," Ron Pollack, the director of Families USA, told reporters), but when they say that I think they mean the following: "Out of all the bought-off Washington whores who could have been given this job, Daschle is the best one. His fake reform will go the farthest in its approximation of actual action than the fake reform of any other possible whore-candidate."
I'm sure Obama will pick another health care whore, but we can enjoy this momentary victory before we face the horror once again.

Feb 2, 2009

GOP Moves Into Cartoonishly Stupid Territory.

Just check out this headline from Yahoo News.

Joe the Plumber advises GOP-ers

Yes, you read that correctly. A man whose only claim to fame is approaching presidential candidate Barack Obama on an Ohio street and lying to him is now advising GOP-ers.

Fresh off his stint as a war correspondent in Gaza, Joe the Plumber is now doing political strategy with Republicans.

When GOP congressional aides gather Tuesday morning for a meeting of the Conservative Working Group, Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher – more commonly known as Joe the Plumber — will be their featured guest. This group is an organization of conservative Capitol Hill staffers who meet regularly to chart GOP strategy for the week.

He is a lying idiot.

Wait. That kind of works.

Carry on.

You Can Have A Shiny Joe The Plumber Forever

This is the gift that keeps on giving. It's a Joe The Plumber black velvet painting.

Finally.

He's thinking about stuff.
This painting of Republican Deep Thinker and Impromptu Party Spokesmodel: Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, AKA "Joe The Plumber" On Black Velvet is an authentic Mexican Black Velvet Painting from "The American Tabloid Heroes Collection ~ Modern American Media Martyrs(tm) on Black Velvet"
Word.

Only three days left on the Ebay auction, so get going.

Idiot Meets Profound Sadness

It's hard being really, really stupid. Take Matthew Naugle - he's a conservative blogger from Ohio who is deeply, deeply upset about what went down during the RNC chairmanship election.
...all the technology in the world is meaningless without the right conservative message.
I run Ken Blackwell's Facebook page and Twitter page. I was also Ken Blackwell's campaign blogger and web guy in 2006. Ken Blackwell is my hero- my idol- my Goldwater...... but I couldn't be more disappointed in his endorsement today. No candidate was more un-Blackwell than Michael Steele.
"My hero - my idol - my Goldwater." He is also one of the worst human beings in America. Ken Blackwell was responsible for massive voter caging in Ohio in 2004, which led to Bush winning Ohio. Blackwell did everything he could to prevent black people from voting and it worked.

Michael, you need to re-evaluate everything. You are the definition of pathetic. Pick a new hero. Maybe Dick Cheney?

Why Stop Failing?

When it is going so well?
A new Rasmussen Poll further demonstrates that the GOP could be in for a long stretch in the wilderness: A majority of GOP voters now say that the party should be more like Sarah Palin.

The numbers: 55% of Republicans say the party should be like Palin, compared to 24% who say they should be like John McCain.

Thank you. Thank you very much. Please keep doing what you are doing.

Feb 1, 2009

Micheal Phelps Is Human


Yep, there he is, getting high.

Nicely done, sir. I like him more now.

RNC Elects Too Late Black Guy

The RNC made a historic selection on Friday when they elected Michael Steele as their new chairman. Michael happens to be a black guy and he was running against some delightful racists.

So, congrats, RNC! This would have had meaning just a couple of years ago. But now, it looks like the obvious, "We like black people, too" move that it is.

Sad. Pathetic. Transparent.

I await Rush Limbaugh's tirade about how this vote was entirely about race.