Jan 30, 2009
Jan 29, 2009
"They want to impeach me ‘cause I went to Canada in defiance of the FDA, in my first term, to get cheaper prescription medicines for our senior citizens so they can afford both their groceries and their medicine. That’s an impeachable offense, the people reelected me on that. They were also impeach the governor of Wisconsin, the governor of Kansas, the governor of Vermont, and why not expel John McCain and Ted Kennedy too because they worked with me on the issue of re-importation of prescription drugs."Yes, that is why you are being impeached. Cheaper drugs. You are also being impeached for making puppies cuter. And for making cheese tastier.
Senior officials in the Islamic group Hamas are indicating a willingness to negotiate a deal for a long-term truce with Israel as long as the borders of Gaza are opened to the rest of the world.
"We want to be part of the international community," Hamas leader Ghazi Hamad told The Associated Press at the Gaza-Egypt border, where he was coordinating Arab aid shipments. "I think Hamas has no interest now to increase the number of crises in Gaza or to challenge the world."
You should start with a bake sale!
Forgive me if I don't believe you. It's got something to do with all the rockets and suicide bombs over the years.
Jan 28, 2009
I'd like to introduce you to Democratic Representative Alan Grayson.
“Rush Limbaugh is a has-been hypocrite loser, who craves attention. His right-wing lunacy sounds like Mikhail Gorbachev, extolling the virtues of communism. Limbaugh actually was more lucid when he was a drug addict. If America ever did 1% of what he wanted us to do, then we’d all need pain killers.”Just keep calling him a drug addict and it will continue to undermine his voice. He's the only draft dodging, four time divorced, drug addict, millionaire who speaks for the everyday man, as far as I know.
And, Grayson, bring that goatee back, bitch! The bottom half of your face looks like it belongs on a bear.
Saddlebacking: sad•dle•back•ing \ˈsa-dəl-ˈba-kiŋ\ vb [fr. Saddleback Church] (2009): the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginitiesExceptional.
After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she’s saving herself for marriage.
In an apparent effort to appease House Republicans, President Barack Obama has stripped funding for birth control from the $825 billion stimulus package.Thank God. If American needs anything, it's more children born into poverty.
I wonder how that concession to Republicans worked out?
While GOP lawmakers said they appreciated Obama's visit, their leaders urged a "no" vote because of the bill's price tag. "All it does is burden our kids and their kids with more debt," said House Republican leader John Boehner of Ohio, citing a non-partisan Congressional Budget Office estimate that the plan would add $347 billion in interest on the national debt over 10 years.
Rep. Mike Castle, R-Del., said there could be as many as 10 to 15 Republicans supporting the package, but added, "If I had to bet, I would bet zero."
We call that a "fail" where I come from (I come from the Internet).
A slew of huge writedowns in asset values as well as plummeting oil and natural gas prices pushed ConocoPhillips to a $31.76 billion loss in the fourth quarter of 2008, reflecting adjustments forced by poor market conditions amid the global recession.Ha! Suck it bitch!
However, excluding the one-time charges, unprecedented triple-digit crude prices in the first nine months of 2008 led the Houston-based company to an annual profit of $16.4 billion, or $10.66 per share, up from $15.15 billion, or $9.21 per share, in 2007.
Jan 27, 2009
Joaquin Phoenix’ recent antics—wild, matted hair and beard; shambolic partying; proclaimed intentions to give up acting for rapping—have had some fans fearing he might be going crazy. His shambling three-song rap debut, at a Las Vegas nightclub on Jan. 16, only solidified the feeling. But they needn’t have worried: Entertainment Weekly’s Hollywood Insider blog reports the two-time Oscar nominee may be “perpetrating an elaborate Andy Kaufman-style hoax,” all filmed by his friend and brother-in-law Casey Affleck for a faux documentary to “lampoon pompous actors and punk the media.” Phoenix told a source, “It’s a put-on. I’m going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it.”Actors just can't shut their pie holes.
They should be treated like the mentally handicapped.
REP. MCARTHY: Refurbishing a building, putting new grass down in a mall. That doesn’t create buildings. That doesn’t creates jobs.
O’DONNELL: Really? I would think you have to hire somebody to put the new sod down on the National Mall.
Hide your pigs. No, wait. Hide your children. Unless you don't like them, then just run up into the hills. We'll tell you when it's safe to come out.
In the first known case of what may be transmission of the Ebola virus from a pig to a human, a pig handler in the Philippines has tested positive for a strain of the virus, world health officials and the Philippine government announced Friday.
But the strain — Ebola Reston — is not known to be dangerous to humans, and the worker, who was infected at least six months ago, is healthy, officials said.
Dear Ebola, please don't become airborne.
Thank you, Stop All Monsters.
Jan 26, 2009
You know things are bad when wholesale liquidators -- companies that sell goods for companies that are going out of business -- are themselves going out of businessI believe the official economic term for this is "a fuck pie."
When we first started to outline the dimensions of this economic depression back in 2006, we did not foresee the extraordinary rate of economic decline we are experiencing today. Processes we expected to take months to transpire are happening in a matter of weeks. Nor did we imagine the range of businesses that are now getting caught up in this disaster. Usually a retail sales collapse starts at the luxury end of the market and slowly works its way down. Not this time. A document sent to us is indicative. A recent bankruptcy court filing by a wholesale liquidator. That's right, a company that sells goods for companies that are going out of business is filing for bankruptcy protection.
Soon you'll be eating your pets, then your shoes, then your toenails.
You should all be reading iTulip.
The good news is NBC is taking a hit on the Super Bowl.
A week before Super Bowl XLIII, NBC is still in “active negotiations” to sell its last few commercial spots.
That’s why some advertising wags are calling Super Bowl 2009 the Economy Bowl.
This close to game time, it’s unusual to have any of the 67 time slots unsold.
The network, which will show next Sunday’s game between the Arizona Cardinals and the Pittsburgh Steelers, had no trouble getting takers for its record-high $3 million-per-half-minute spots — before Labor Day.
After that, sales fizzled along with the economy.
The French-made luxury jet seats up to 12 in a plush interior with leather seats, sofas and a customizable entertainment center, according to Dassault’s sales literature. … There are just nine of these top-of-the-line models in the United States, with Dassault’s European factory churning out three to four 7Xs a month.They need to be punished severely to understand. Like Marie Antoinette severely.
“Why should I help you when what you write will be used to the detriment of our company?” replied Bill McNamee, head of CitiFlight Inc., the subsidiary that manages Citigroup’s corporate fleet, when asked to comment about the new 7X.
Nice work. Stay classy, Israel.
The Gaza Zoo reeks of death. But zookeeper Emad Jameel Qasim doesn’t appear to react to the stench as he walks around the animals’ enclosures.
A month ago, it was attracting families - he says the zoo drew up to 1,000 visitors each day. He points at the foot-long hole in the camel in one of the enclosures.
“This camel was pregnant, a missile went into her back,” he tells us. “Look, look at her face. She was in pain when she died.”
Around every corner, inside almost every cage are dead animals, who have been lying in their cages since the Israeli incursion.
Qasim doesn’t understand why they chose to destroy his zoo. And it’s difficult to disagree with him. Most of them have been shot at point blank range.
Jan 25, 2009
Yes, she was awesome. We were all blessed to have known her.
Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) had only words of praise for his former vice presidential running mate, Sarah Palin, this morning on "Fox News Sunday.""I think the world of Sarah Palin," McCain said. "I'm pleased to have known her."
When asked if he regretted choosing the Alaska governor as his running mate, McCain said Palin had re-energized the Republican Party.
Okay, but we're still going to need your oil to stay really cheap and stuff. Cool?
A senior member of Saudi Arabia's ruling family has warned the US that it needs to change attitudes over the Arab-Israeli conflict.
Prince Turki al-Faisal, a former Saudi intelligence chief and former ambassador to the US, said a failure to alter policies could threaten links.
The prince said ex-President George W Bush had left a "sickening legacy" in the Middle East.He accused the US of contributing to the killing of Gazans.
As Dec. 9 unfolded, Blagojevich told NBC, "I thought about Mandela, Dr. King and Gandhi and tried to put some perspective to all this and that is what I am doing now."Fucking A right. He's one of the greats! I remember when I was arrested for drinking in public in college, I immediately thought about Buddha, Harriet Tubman and St Francis of Assisi. That really helped me put it into perspective.
Jan 24, 2009
A childhood illness that has mostly been curbed through vaccinations has killed one child and sickened four others in Minnesota, health officials said Friday.Hold your head high, Jenny.
The five children were infected with a bacterial infection known as Hib: Haemophilus influenzae type b.
Three of the affected children had not received any vaccinations, including the 7-month-old who died, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Jan 23, 2009
President Obama listened to Republican gripes about his stimulus package during a meeting with congressional leaders Friday morning - but he also left no doubt about who's in charge of these negotiations. "I won," Obama noted matter-of-factly, according to sources familiar with the conversation.Weeeeee.
Monty Python started a YouTube channel with tons of their sketches streaming for free. The included links to their DVDs at Amazon. The result was a whopping 23,000% increase in sales.Um. Yeah. If you introduce people to stuff, they will want more and most people don't mind paying. It's when you wage war with them that they go for free.
I can't tell you how many albums I've bought because the groups music was up for free on You Tube. Now You Tube has taken that music down, which means I won't be buying as much music. WIN!
"December 9 to my family, to us, to me, is what Pearl Harbor Day was to the United States," Blago told the Associated Press. "It was a complete surprise, completely unexpected. And just like the United States prevailed in that, we'll prevail in this."Dude, now I get it. Thanks for making me understand what's going on with you. I just went through a personal Battle of Little Bighorn. I forgot about an audition and my agent was upset, which is very much like the death of Custer and his troops.
Two suspected U.S missile attacks killed 18 people Friday in Pakistan just east of the Afghan border, security officials said, the first such strikes since the inauguration of President Barack Obama.
At least five victims were identified as foreign militants, an intelligence officer said.
The strikes, which hit two districts of the lawless region where al-Qaida militants are known to hide out, are the latest in a barrage of more than 30 since the middle of last year.
Pakistan's pro-U.S. leaders had expressed hope Obama would halt the attacks, which have reportedly killed several top al-Qaida operatives but triggered anger at the government by nationalist and Muslim critics.And no. See new boss/old boss/same as....
Jan 22, 2009
KING: Bob, my — in that regard, my younger son Cannon, he is eight. And he now says that he would like to be black. I’m not kidding. He said there’s a lot of advantages. Black is in. Is this a turning of the tide?
WOODWARD: Well, maybe.
Yes. Your eight-year-old wants to be black, so black is cool. Also, shitting in your pants is cool. As is "playing robot."
Go crawl into a death hole you creepy old man. (No, I don't know what a death hole is, but it sounds reasonable).
"Scooter Libby is one of the most capable and honorable men I've ever known," Cheney said of his former chief of staff. "He's been an outstanding public servant throughout his career. He was the victim of a serious miscarriage of justice, and I strongly believe that he deserved a presidential pardon. Obviously, I disagree with President Bush's decision."Um. No you don't. If Scooter was pardoned, he could be subpoenaed, brought before Congress and would be unable to take the 5th. For you, this is all good. He's the patsy. He's your bitch. He took the fall for your illegal activities.
Now go sit back in your villain chair and think up horrible things to do during retirement.
Remember that happening when Condi took over? No? I wonder why.
These are State Department professionals basically losing their shit because they know a non moron is back in charge. What a complete disaster Bush was.
The reaction of State Department employees as Hillary Clinton arrived this morning apparently bears comparison to the liberation of Paris at the end of World War II.Everybody hated them. Everybody.
There are great hopes for Hillary at State. I met last week with a number of career State Department employees and was surprised when one said she was looking forward to the “Glinda Party” next week. I asked her: if Hillary was Glinda, the Good Witch of the South from the Wizard of Oz, did that make Condoleezza Rice the Wicked Witch of the West?“You’re on to it,” she said.
But Dawson hasn’t erased concerns about his Southern background. And more recently, his opponents have sought to damage his candidacy by circulating information about remarks he made at the University of South Carolina in 2003. In his comments at a seminar there, Dawson described his entry into politics as a reaction against 1960s-era school busing policies, telling students: “Government reached into my life and grabbed me and shook me at the age of 15.”Dude hates integration and he's apparently proud to say so.
Stay classy, GOP.
Jan 21, 2009
Message received. Cool if we just grab the head and go?
The incident came as 16 other people were also killed in Mexico's northern state of Chihuahua in attacks the authorities believe are linked to the country's drug wars.
"Hitmen cut off commander Martin Castro's head and left it in an ice cooler in front of the local police station," said a statement issued by the state justice authorities.
His head was left in the town Praxedis with a message from the powerful Sinaloa drug cartel.
The police commander was abducted on Saturday, along with five other police officers and a civilian, only five days after starting his job.
Six bodies in police uniforms bearing signs of torture and gunshot wounds were found on Monday in a street in the state capital, Chihuahua, officials said.
Other than that, good job!
IDF officers intending to travel to Europe, whether for business or pleasure, have been advised to contact the Judge Advocate General's Office prior to leaving Israel; and some may be instructed not to leave the country.
The advisory has been issued following Israel's concern that international arrest warrants may be issued against officers who were involved in the Israeli offensive in Gaza on charges of war crimes.
“And there’s nothing wrong with that,” said Reid. “And Obama will be meeting with them too.” When asked to clarify his remarks, given Obama’s promises to change that part of Capitol culture, Reid responded that lobbyists are part and parcel of the job.
“People should understand that lobbyists, per se, are someone’s father, mother, son, daughter,” said Reid. “They work for a living.”
Strange position to take. Those poor lobbyists are just working for a living. Hmmmm
The Democratic leader’s sons and a son-in-law have worked as lobbyists.
The man is a filthy anus.
The new White House website unveiled by President Barack Obama’s team Tuesday includes a shot at former President Bush’s response to Hurricane Katrina.Snap.
Under the “agenda” portion of the site regarding Katrina, it reads: “President Obama will keep the broken promises made by President Bush to rebuild New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. He and Vice President Biden will take steps to ensure that the federal government will never again allow such catastrophic failures in emergency planning and response to occur.”
“President Obama swiftly responded to Hurricane Katrina,” the statement on the site continues. “Citing the Bush Administration’s ‘unconscionable ineptitude’ in responding to Hurricane Katrina, then-Senator Obama introduced legislation requiring disaster planners to take into account the specific needs of low-income hurricane victims.”
This might be a fun four years.
Jan 20, 2009
Ted Kennedy was taken out of the Statuary Hall luncheon after suffering an apparent seizure -- a few minutes after Sen. Robert Byrd was removed in his wheelchair under the supervision of medical personnel.Thanks for ruining the party.
Byrd was conscious and had been having trouble eating, according to a witness.
It's a show with a complex. It is now a defensive, whiny show. And you're not going to believe this, but the guys who want to torture are always right and the ones who want to follow the law are dumb suits who just don't get it. Because when I turn on the tv, I want to be lectured about how awesome it is to commit war crimes.
Just fucking torture people and shut the fuck up. I like my war crimes sans the moral dilemma.
Jan 19, 2009
Just three years ago the award-winning actor was fighting off female admirers - however he caused serious fears for his wellbeing as he made a made a disastrous hip-hop debut in Las Vegas at the weekend.
Sporting a scraggly beard, long hair and ripped trousers, Joaquin - who announced his retirement from acting in October - looked a state as he bobbed along the catwalk 'performing' three hip-hop tracks from his forthcoming album.
I just assumed it would be a shitty rock band, but this tool is going to go down in flames all my his lonesome, out on the stage, with just his words. Epic failure.
Look forward to the day you come crawling back to acting, Joaquin.
And, yes, there's a video in the link. I just couldn't bring myself to post it.
Jan 16, 2009
I can't wait until some welfare recipient steals my car because he needs food.The controller said the suspended payments could be rolled into IOUs if California still lacked sufficient cash to pay its bills come March or April.Reporting from Sacramento -- State Controller John Chiang announced today that his office would suspend tax refunds, welfare checks, student grants and other payments owed to Californians starting Feb. 1, as a result of the state's cash crisis.
Chiang said he had no choice but to stop making some $3.7 billion in payments in the absence of action by the governor and lawmakers to close the state's nearly $42-billion budget deficit. More than half of those payments are tax refunds.
"I take this action with great reluctance," Chiang said at a news conference in his office. But he said that without action to close the deficit, "there is no way to make it through February unscathed."
The payments to be frozen include nearly $2 billion in tax refunds; $300 million in cash grants for needy families and the aged, blind and disabled; and $13 million in grants for college students.
Hey, Republicans, I'd rather pay a few taxes than not have, you know, anything.
He has a great understanding of taxes and the effects they have on people.
NORQUIST: The other tax cut you could do is cutting the corporate rate. The U.S. corporate rate is 35 percent; the European rate is 25 percent. Obama is a more international guy, so we should be close to the European average. We’ll stop torturing people, we’ll stop torturing corporations, and that will make us more like Europe.See? Torture is like taxes. Having your eyes pulled out with a spoon is the same as paying an extra 10% in taxes.
I guess we should tax terrorists instead of torturing them. Although, that might be too cruel.
Nicholas D. Kristof
Mr. Obama and the Democrats who favor labor standards in trade agreements mean well, for they intend to fight back at oppressive sweatshops abroad. But while it shocks Americans to hear it, the central challenge in the poorest countries is not that sweatshops exploit too many people, but that they don’t exploit enough.Seriously. How the fuck is the world supposed to become a better place if we don't increase exploitation? Let's get on it, people.
And when were done with that we need to bump up rape a bit. It's totally lagging.
Jan 15, 2009
China overtook Germany to become the world's third largest economy yesterday after revising its figures for output growth. The Chinese economy has grown tenfold in three decades and grew 13% rather than 12% in 2007, Beijing said, putting it behind only the United States and Japan in terms of gross domestic product.We're all going to be using chopsticks soon! Hide your dogs!
Obama's stimulus package is on track to pass before the Presidents Day recess in mid-February. But it is increasingly doubtful that he will pick up the 80 Senate votes he had hoped to win in the first major legislative test of his presidency. Instead, the bill is likely to pass on the strength of the Democrats' majority.
Sen. John Thune (R-S.D.) said Wednesday that prospects for bipartisanship in the stimulus debate rapidly were eroding.Welcome to Washington. Now do what grown ups do and tell the extremist Republicans to go fuck themselves. Just peel off the moderates.
"The air is coming out of that balloon," Thune said. "To attract Republicans, they lose Democrats. It is a very difficult needle to thread. They are discovering that the goal [of an 80-vote majority] is unrealistic. He got so much push-back from his own people."
House Republican leaders have set up a working group to draft their own stimulus proposal focusing on permanent, across-the-board tax relief. And the Republican Study Committee, a group of about 100 conservative House Republicans, unveiled a bill Wednesday that contains a series of tax cuts, including reducing all personal income tax rates by 5% and cutting the corporate tax rate from 35% to 25%.
Israel hoped that the war in Gaza would not only cripple Hamas, but eventually strengthen its secular rival, the Palestinian Authority, and even allow it to claw its way back into Gaza.Fucking idiots.
But with each day, the authority, its leader, Mahmoud Abbas, and its leading party, Fatah, seem increasingly beleaguered and marginalized, even in the Palestinian cities of the West Bank, which they control. Protesters accuse Mr. Abbas of not doing enough to stop the carnage in Gaza — indeed, his own police officers have used clubs and tear gas against those same protesters.
The more bombs in Gaza, the more Hamas’s support seems to be growing at the expense of the Palestinian Authority, already considered corrupt and distant from average Palestinians.
Jan 14, 2009
So now, Israel has decided to isolate Hamas and try to push Palestinians away from the extremists. Guess what? There's something worse than Hamas: Salafism.
Salafists think Hamas are a bunch of chickenshit pussies. They have an even more strict, puritanical interpretation of Islam. Some guy named Osama bin Laden and a few cats in a group called al Qaeda are Salafists.
Salafists are said to be pouring into the Gaza, with the understanding that this is their moment. They bring with them the battlefield knowledge of Afghanistan and, especially, Iraq.
Uh oh. Think of Fatah as Democrats, Hamas as Republicans and Salafists as neo-cons.
In these theaters, of course, access to Israeli targets already is assured, and so the emphasis of the newly arrived mujahideen and a number of in-place Israeli Arabs seems to be to build a foothold from which Salafism can be preached and have a chance to grow among the populace.
There have been anti-Israeli operations conducted by Salafi groups in Gaza - such as the Jaysh al-Islam (Army of Islam) - but the attacks have not been major, and the Salafis appear to spend just as much time fighting with their erstwhile Islamist colleagues in Hamas.
This is going to be one of those "you reap what you sow" kind of moments for Israel.
So far, Hamas has done what it can to keep the Salafis under control. They know the ultra-radicals are just waiting to take over Hamas’ position of leadership. “They are traitors,” Abu Mustafa says of Hamas. “Compared to us, they are Islamism lite.” […]
The group’s greatest sin, says Abu Mustafa… is its effort to bring Islam and democracy together. “Hamas represents an American style of Islam. They have tried to curry favor.” Which is not such a bad thing for Abu Mustafa and his Salafis. “Hamas is like a block of ice in the sun,” he says. “Every minute they get smaller — and we get larger.”
For all the years he was president," Armey told me, "Bill Clinton and I had a little thing we'd do where every time I went to the White House, I would take the little name tag they give you and pass it to the president, who, without saying a word, would sign and date it. Bill Clinton and I didn't like each other. He said I was his least-favorite member of Congress. But he knew that when I left his office, the first schoolkid I came across would be given that card, and some kid who had come to Washington with his mama would go home with the president's autograph. I think Clinton thought it was a nice thing to do for some kid, and he was happy to do it." Armey said that when he went to his first meeting in the White House with President Bush, he explained the tradition with Clinton and asked the president if he would care to continue it. "Bush refused to sign the card. Rove, who was sitting across the table, said, 'It would probably wind up on eBay,'" Armey continued.Hate.
Jackie Chan is in negotiations to star in the remake of 1984 hit movie The Karate Kid, according to reports.Thank God those Smith kids keep getting breaks. I can't imagine how hard their life is and I understand talent is inherited.
The martial arts star would take on the role of mentor Mr Miyagi, industry newspaper Hollywood Reporter says.
The character was made famous by Pat Morita in the original film franchise and earned him an Oscar nomination.Jaden Smith, the son of Hollywood actor Will Smith, has already been cast as the boy to be mentored by the martial arts expert.
And Jackie Chan! Wow, what a horrible fucking idea!
There was a strange lottery held in Alaska. The charity Standing Together Against Rape held the lottery to raise money and give a large chunk of change to a sexual assault victim. The winner would receive $500,000.
I guess someone forgot to read a sex crimes book or two, because it turns out a lot of pedophiles were victims.
An Alaska lottery held to raise money for a group that helps sexual abuse victims had a surprise winner: a convicted sex offender.Yay?
Alec Ahsoak, who according to the state sex offender registry was convicted in 1993 and 2000 for sexual abuse of a minor, came forward Saturday with the winning ticket for the $500,000 Lucky Time Pull Tabs jackpot.
UPDATE: I got the story wrong. That's exciting! I thought the lottery was for victims of sexual assaults, but anyone could have won. How fucked up would it be if they only allowed sex victims to enter a lottery? How would they determine who was a sex victim? What the fuck is wrong with me?
And the "winner" met a pipe.
It's all working out.
The man who won the state's first half-million dollar lottery was attacked on a downtown street this afternoon with a tire iron or metal pipe, according to Anchorage police.
Police say Alec Ahsoak, 53, was attackedat about 3:30 p.m. when a man, accompanied by two women, approached him to ask if he was the man who won the $500,000 jackpot.
thanks for the catch arthur.
Jan 13, 2009
WURZELBACHER: You don’t need to see what’s happening every day, that’s my personal opinion, you don’t have to share it. ut, you know, okay, you don’t have to see, you know, 800 dead, 801 dead. It’s like they drill that in your head. … They want you to sit there saying there are so many people dying. You know these are large, these are numbers, you know I don’t want to take away from that. Let me, uh, think about how to say that again. Just essentially, they keep drilling it into your head, newscast after newscast after newscast.Joe's your everyday, common man who happens to believe strongly in military dictatorship. Dude would LOVE Burma.
I think the military should decide what information to give the media and then the media can release it to the public. I don’t believe they need to be in the front lines with soldiers, I don’t believe they need to, uh, you know, be bothering the military for information or for access to certain areas.
The Tennessee State House was all set to install there first Republican speaker in ages, when Democrats pulled a switcharoo. The crazy Republican actually brought his Bible to the vote, which he was going to be use in his swearing in ceremony. Instead, it was used to catch his tears.
AMAZING! Acting in a clandestine pact, the 49 Democrats in Tennessee’s House shocked Nashville just one hour ago by nominating and then voting en masse for Kent Williams (a moderate Republican from Elizabethton in Carter County) for Speaker to lead the 99-member chamber. The official Republican nominee, Jason Mumpower (a wingnut from Bristol in Sullivan County) was left speechless, clutching the family bible that he had brought in preparation for taking the Speaker’s oath of office. This is HUGE!
The R’s had promised bans on gay adoption and fostering, new concealed weapons laws, new constitutional limits on abortion, new anti-immigrant legislation, and mandating the teaching of “intelligent design” in public schools. Because the Tennessee House operates under a strict committee system and the Speaker appoints all committee chairs, though, it is unclear whether Republicans will be able to get any of these measures to the floor of the House.I believe the kids call this pwned.
Sorry, Mumpower, but God didn't want you to run things this time. God doesn't like you.
Prime Minister Ehud Olmert of Israel said Monday that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice had been forced to abstain from a United Nations [cease fire] resolution on Gaza that she helped draft, after Mr. Olmert placed a phone call to President Bush. "I said, 'Get me President Bush on the phone,'" Mr. Olmert said in a speech in the southern Israeli city of Ashkelon, according to The Associated Press. They said he was in the middle of giving a speech in Philadelphia. I said I didn't care: 'I need to talk to him now,'" Mr. Olmert continued. "He got off the podium and spoke to me." ...
Mr. Olmert claimed that once he made his case to Mr. Bush, the president called Ms. Rice and told her to abstain. "She was left pretty embarrassed," Mr. Olmert said, according to The A.P.Shocking and pathetic. A little country telling us what to do. Good leadership.
K Street veterans report a shocking new reality.Sucks to be America's #1 problem, doesn't it?
Top business officials accustomed to red-carpet treatment in the Bush White House say they must stand in line in the cold outside transition headquarters along with people they don't recognize, waiting to be cleared to meet with Obama staffers they don't know and who don't always appear to understand their issues. One veteran business official lamented that the only Obama official he has recognized so far is former Environmental Protection Agency Director Carol Browner — along with lobbying foes for labor and environmental organizations he has seen milling around or standing in the queue.
"We were part of the team" during the Bush transition, reminisced another top K Street player. "The business lobby was not pro-Obama," he acknowledged. "And for good reason, if you look at the campaign rhetoric."
"You get your five-minute elevator presentation," said one top industry lobbyist who said his meetings have been devoid of meaty discussion. "They say nothing. It's a pure note-taking exercise. Will they be able to say they reached out? Sure."I totally don't feel for you.
It's weird to see something very right happening.
Further complicating his last-minute legacy rehabilitation: Nobody seems to be paying attention. The White House had high expectations for yesterday’s final, historic news conference. “ONE CORRESPONDENT PER ORGANIZATION,” proclaimed the bulletin sent to reporters. “STANDING ROOM ONLY FOR NON-SEAT HOLDERS.”And no scalping! Anyone with counterfeit tickets will not be allowed in.
But when the appointed hour of 9:15 a.m. arrived, the last two rows in the seven-row briefing room were empty, and a press aide told White House interns to fill those seats.Oh, right. Nobody gives a shit about you - and that includes the people who are paid to give a shit about you.
Jan 12, 2009
"I've never had to make the choice because I've never had the urge to be other than a heterosexual," Blackwell said, "but if in fact I had the urge to be something else I could have in fact suppressed that urge."
I understand, Ken. I've never had the urge to be a zombie, but if I did have the urge, I would suppress the shit out of it. I would totally not eat brains. Maybe kitties, but not brains.
Good luck with your eternal struggle against reality.
Iran is going to be one of our biggest challenges and as I said during the campaign we have a situation in which not only is Iran exporting terrorism through Hamas, through Hezbollah but they are pursuing a nuclear weapon that could potentially trigger a nuclear arms race.Yeah, about that nuclear weapon thingy. We have 16 intelligence agencies here in the US of A and they don't think so.
We judge with high confidence that in fall 2003, Tehran halted its nuclear weapons program.
Uh oh. That's a big fucking lie, then. Big, fat, dangerous lie. New boss same as the old boss. Thankfully George Stephanopolous is a well researched journalist and called Obama on the blatant lie.
Media! See: Iraq War.
And you have to do something about it in your first year.
JOE: The story here is people are being killed and the media’s slanting it and trying to make it Hamas is, uh, as far as, that Israel’s being bad. Do you believe Israel is bad?
REPORTER: Do I believe it?
JOE: Yeah, do you?!
REPORTER: I’m Israeli, so…
JOE: So answer the question!
REPORTER: No, I don’t think Israel is bad.
JOE: Do you think Israel has every right to protect itself?
JOE: You do?!
JOE: Have you said that on air?
REPORTER: I’m just a reporter.
Way to take it to those reporters, Joe. Journalists, if they are professional, as expected to include their opinions and bias in every piece.
And please don't pay attention to what he said a couple of days ago.
Please, make it stop. Please.
JOE: They’re supposed to bring the news to you unbiased. They’re supposed to actually report it and then let you make your opinion.
ROGER L. SIMON: What do you think you can provide that a seasoned journalist can’t?
JOE: What I can provide are actual real questions and get real answers. I’m not talking manufactured answers, I’m not talking soundbites…And uh, not giving it any kind of slants. That’s how news is supposed to be reported. Somewhere along the line they forgot that. As opposed to a commentary from them.
BUSH: You know, people said that the federal response was slow. Don’t tell me the federal response was slow when there was 30,000 people pulled off roofs right after the storm passed...30,000 people were pulled off roofs right after the storm moved through. That’s a pretty quick response. Could things have been done better? Absolutely, absolutely. But when I hear people say the federal response was slow, then what are they gonna say to those chopper drivers? Or to the 30,000 that got pulled off the roofs?Um. The chopper drivers weren't the ones who allowed thousands to sit in squalor for five days without food and water.
Also, you are a monster.
Jan 11, 2009
"I'll be honest with you. I don't think journalists should be anywhere allowed war. I mean, you guys report where our troops are at. You report what's happening day to day. You make a big deal out of it. I-I think it's asinine. You know, I liked back in World War I and World War II when you'd go to the theater and you'd see your troops on, you know, the screen and everyone would be real excited and happy for'em. Now everyone's got an opinion and wants to downer--and down soldiers. You know, American soldiers or Israeli soldiers. I think media should be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting. You know, war is hell. And if you're gonna sit there and say, 'Well look at this atrocity,' well you don't know the whole story behind it half the time, so I think the media should have no business in it."Um. Yeah. That fucking freedom of the press is such bullshit. Cough, Constitution, cough.
Thanks for wearing your best T-shirt.
Jan 9, 2009
Reagan was pretty devious about fudging the numbers, but Clinton was by far the worst.
During the Great Depression unemployment was around 25%. So what is it really today? How about 16%? That's a depression, bitches.
Figures collected for Reuters by John Williams, from the electronic newsletter Shadowstats.com, suggest that, while we are not there yet, the comparison is not as outlandish as it might initially seem.Hmmm, smell that? It's socialism creeping in.
By his count, if unemployment were still tallied the way it was in the 1930s, today's jobless rate would be closer to 16.5 percent -- more than double the stated rate.
Or it could be the very delightful 11%
However, some economists, including Kenneth Rogoff at Harvard University, now say joblessness could top 11 percent. Under Williams' methodology, that picture might look much more like the Great Depression.Either way, it's not 7 fucking percent and we are all going to die.
With the loss of 2.6 million jobs—including 1.9 million in the past four months alone—last year turned out to be the worst year for employment since 1945, the Labor Department reported Friday morning.How kick ass it that? If we all pull together, I think we can break the record
The U.S. economy shed 524,000 in December, notching the unemployment rate to 7.2% (11.1 million people), the highest in 16 years. "It's going to be devastating in terms of consumer confidence and spending," said one economist ahead of the report's release. "The next couple of months will be dismal."I love dismal.
Jan 8, 2009
He's stood up to Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich and refused to seat Roland Burris - with zero legal standing to do so. In return, Blago leaked reports of his conversation with Reid in which Harry said no to all the black possibilities and yes to the white ones. Now, he's realizing he has no legal standing to stop Burris and is slowly backing down. Oh, and that little mess gave Republicans the ability to block Al Franken from being seated - possibly for months. Then, he sat back while Senators Feinstein and Rockefeller talked shit about Obama's choice for head of the CIA.
Now, he's talking out of his ass and making some spectacularly stupid comments.
The Democrats are two seats from having a filibuster proof Senate and Reid want to play nice with the bully who beat the shit out of them for years and ran the country into the shitter. Fucking amazing.
Democrats must be “very, very careful” to avoid overreaching and will not rubber-stamp President-elect Obama’s policies, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) said Tuesday.In an interview with The Hill, Reid said it is essential for Obama and congressional Democrats to work closely with Republicans in the new Congress. He added that 2009 is very different from 1993, the last time Democrats controlled both Congress and the White House.
And, on the same day, Reid said convicted felon and ex Republican Senator Ted Stevens should get a jail pass.
Right. A lawmaker should not have to keep up with the laws.
The Majority Leader thinks former Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens shouldn't face jail time for his seven-count federal conviction last year.
"My personal feeling, you guys, I don't know what good that [would do]... He was a real war hero too, you know. He's been punished enough."
Members of Congress, he added, had long been used to not disclosing gifts until the rules had been tightened. And he said the 85-year-old Stevens simply did not adapt to those changing rules.
"It's a different world we live in, and Stevens did not understand that," Reid said.
Time to toss this pro-life, gun loving, Mormon out on his ass.
Amnesty International said on Wednesday that both Israeli soldiers and Palestinian fighters are endangering the lives of Palestinian civilians – including by using them as human shields.This is really not going to end well for Israel. There is no end game.
“Our sources in Gaza report that Israeli soldiers have entered and taken up positions in a number of Palestinian homes, forcing families to stay in a ground floor room while they use the rest of their house as a military base and sniper position,” said Malcolm Smart, Amnesty International’s Middle East and North Africa Programme. “This clearly increases the risk to the Palestinian families concerned and means they are effectively being used as human shields.”
Jan 7, 2009
Be sure to put something in there about how much we dig the blowing up of schools and the killing of a family of 60.
U.S. Rep. Steny Hoyer (D-Md.), the U.S. House of Representatives majority leader, told JTA he was looking at such a resolution, which is being drafted in the office of Rep. Howard Berman (D-Calif.), the chairman of the House Foreign Affairs Committee.
“Certainly it would not demand a cease-fire,” Hoyer said. “It would speak to the conditions that would justify a cease-fire. A cease-fire is not a just cease-fire when it’s just Israel” holding fire.
And be sure not to focus on the one or two problems currently facing some country called America.
Jan 6, 2009
Two whole days ago Bush said his greatest domestic achievement was trying to privatize Social Security. That was a weird thing to say because it was a huge, epic failure. Most people wouldn't say an epic failure was their shining moment, but Bush is a tool, so it's not so surprising.
On domestic policy, Bush was asked if he made progress in some areas for which he hasn't and probably won't get credit. Topping his list was his unsuccessful drive in 2005 to reform Social Security. Bush said his effort showed it's politically safe to campaign on changing Social Security and then actually seek to change it.But today, he said this.
Dude, you should totally get together with yourself and get your story straight.
THOMAS: And biggest do-over? Knowing everything you know now, what would you have done over again?
BUSH: I probably, in retrospect, should have pushed immigration reform right after the ‘04 election and not Social Security reform.
Seriously, he is a fucking moron.
So, how does Chase treat a good customer after they receive their government bailout? How about doubling my monthly payment?
When I inquired about this sudden change, I received a form letter...
We consistently review our business practices to ensure that we provide valued services and remain competitive in the business. As noted in your Cardmember Agreement, we may change the terms associated with your account and will notify you of the change in writing in accordance with applicable law.Oh, so you fuck up and I have to suffer for your ineptitude? Good to know you got your bailout money and are using it to help kill the economy. I don't think that's why all you big banks got the cash.
Our records indicate that a Change in Terms notice was sent to you in November 2008, which advised of the addition of an Account Service Fee and a change to the required minimum payment for your account, effective as of your January 2009 billing statement.OH! Hey, thanks for answering a different question. I didn't ask if you informed me, I asked "why?"
Please note that the Annual Percentage Rate (APR) on your account is not changing and you may continue to take advantage of the promotional APR currently in effect on your account.OH! I can increase my balance! How awesome is that?!!?
We realize how hectic life can be and we would like to help you simplify your life with the convenience of Paperless Statements.Sure, why not try to sell something to a disgruntled customer after you just rammed your fist into his ass? Actually, I use both paperless and paper statements. I think that's better in case I ever have an IRS audit. But that's just me, thinking wisely. And let's be honest, you just want to cut down on your overhead. At this point, I just want to cause you pain, so it's not going to happen.
Look, I can totally handle the increase. My balance isn't that high, so it's not a big increase. That's not the point. The point is many people can't and the banks were given money to loosen credit up. This would be the opposite. This will mean people have less money to spend and the economy will get worse.
I consider this to be a very bad sign of things to come.
I can't wait to receive a form letter response to my last message:
Consider me a very dissatisfied customer. But continue taking government money, running your business into the ground and punishing good customers for your blatant ineptitude.Good times.
Americans broadly and strongly disapprove of federal intervention in the Terri Schiavo case, with sizable majorities saying Congress is overstepping its bounds for political gain.That was a huge fail for Republicans. So, why not bring it back up‽ Obama has nominated Thomas Perrelli for the number 3 spot at the Justice Department. Thomas just happened to be one of the lawyers who represented Michael Schiavo - the man who wanted to take his vegetable wife off life support.
The public, by 63 percent-28 percent, supports the removal of Schiavo's feeding tube, and by a 25-point margin opposes a law mandating federal review of her case. Congress passed such legislation and President Bush signed it early today.That legislative action is distinctly unpopular: Not only do 60 percent oppose it, more -- 70 percent -- call it inappropriate for Congress to get involved in this way.
Now it's get even time. The lunatics are pushing Congressional Republicans to bring up the Schiavo case during Perrelli's hearing.
Andrea Lafferty, executive director of the Traditional Values Coalition, derided Mr. Perrelli's selection as "just another death-peddler Obama has added to his list of nominees." She said he's earned the nickname among pro-lifers of "Piranha Perrelli" for his work on the case.
Tom McClusky, vice president for government affairs at the Family Research Council, said several end-of-life issues could make their way to the federal level in the next four years and having Mr. Perrelli at the department means pro-life causes would have a tougher time winning those debates.
"If the Justice Department isn't going to do anything about it, the states, what's to stop them from cases like Schiavo and even worse cases," Mr. McClusky said.
Oh, please, please, go after the death merchant.
Jan 5, 2009
Cochineal extract and carmine, used to dye food, drinks and cosmetics various shades of red, orange, pink and purple, are extracted from the dried bodies of the female cochineal bug.Yeah. Gentleman bugs take a break. Who knew we used woman bugs to make dye? And the government doesn't want you to know you are eating bugs.
The Food and Drug Administration has finalized a rule that will require food companies to list cochineal extract and carmine on the label when they are used in food and cosmetics. But the new rule contains one glaring omission. It doesn’t require companies to tell you that the ingredients come from a bug.So, there you go, you dirty bug eater.
Seriously, you are a creep.